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Does your DH do this too?

Usually when we wake up in the morning, I'm busy making and serving breakfast to my toddlers, doing dishes, loading laundry and changing diapers. I multitask like this every morning. My DH also gets ready for work while all this is going on. Most of the time, I might be in the laundry room or dining room feeding my kids when he is ready to walk out the door. Most days, he would just yell out "have a nice day" while walking towards the door, without even bothering to give me a kiss goodbye or hug. When I asked him why he does this, he says, its because its my duty as the wife to drop everything I am doing as soon as I hear those words, chase him to the door and give him a kiss and a hug. I find this to be absolutely ridiculous. And he gets mad at me whenever I just yell back a "bye". I think he should give me a hug or kiss goodbye rather than expect me to drop everything and chase him to the door to give him a hug.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Dec. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • i agree with you. sometimes im laying on the couch waiting for the kids to get up when hes leaving for work. i wont even say anything to him if he doesnt walk over to me and kiss me. then i give him a slight silent treatment when he gets home. that only lasted two days. he hasnt not said bye and given me a kiss again.
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 12:19 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I would not chase him to the door. It takes two seconds for him to come to you to give you a kiss and a hug. My boyfriend is a truck driver, he's gone weeks at a time, and even he says he would never expect me to drop everything and come running when he has to leave. In fact, his exact words were, "If you're just sitting on the couch watching TV, then yes, you should come to me b/c you're not doing anything important. But if you're busy taking care of the kids or the house, you're just as busy as I am, and there's no reason I shouldn't come to you. You're my partner, not my concubine."
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 12:21 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • depending on what is going on my husband comes to me... or if I am not doing anything i go the the door to kiss him. it is give and take
    SuzanneL09

    Answer by SuzanneL09 at 12:25 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • My husband goes to bed before me and will ask me to clear off laundry or whatever might be on the bed first. So while I'm scrambling around, he gets in bed. And then when I'm leaving the room asks, Don't I get a kiss? I always say, Well YOU are the one that just crawled in bed without having kissed ME first, so I guess not. I think all men think everything should be handed to them, and they don't think it in a nasty way, they just do. Its a man thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • If my DH would have said that to me I would have said "yea right, I don't think so, I hope you are joking?I have things to do like take care of your kids. You come to me.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:27 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I think it's completely ridiculous. I was thinking about this just today. Since all he has to do is get dressed and grab his keys, he should go to you. Expecting you to drop everything and chase him is just absurd.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:27 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • OK... I'll bite. I don't know the whole story, but from what you just said I think your DH is being a butt head. "my duty as the wife" - What about his duty as the husband? Does he thinks that he fulfills that by going to work? A marriage is a 2 way street. It's give and take. He needs to realize that you are busy at that time in the morning as part of your wifely/motherly duties, walk a few extra steps and give you a kiss.

    On the other hand - from my experience with DH and I - I would say that it will probably fall on you to step up to the plate and keep that part of your marriage alive. DH and I have been together 10 years and unless I instigate kissing/hugging/cuddling we usually miss that part of our relationship, unless DH is wanting to "get lucky" that night.
    lynhun

    Answer by lynhun at 12:33 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • No. My dh comes to me and gives me a kiss before he leaves for work, every morning. Of course, I have a little one so most of the time I'm changing a diaper, feeding him breakfast - not really something I can drop and run to him.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:40 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Uhhhhhh no he comes to find me if I'm home and awake when he leaves for work. We have twin 17 month olds so on the days I don't work and they are up, I'm busy when he leaves. He always comes to kiss the kids and to kiss me. Your husband sounds like a jackass!
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 1:19 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • YOUR "DUTY" MY ASS !!!!!!
    Not your DUTY.....AAAGGGHHHH
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 11:53 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

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