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How can I tell my husband that he is fathering a child that is not his?

Husband always away because of work duties. He comes home every forth night. In between those time somebody came and it happened like a one night stand,though the guy is also a close family friend.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Dec. 22, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • You tell him that you were unfaithful, and that you have suspicions that this child is not his. You tell him that you're sorry and then you respect his decision to leave if that's what he wants. Just because he works out of town a lot doesn't mean that you should have done that. Every fourth day should be enough to keep you sexually satisfied and if it's not, then you should have taken care of it yourself. You have no excuses, and you have to let him go. I don't know a man who would stick around after finding out his wife is carrying a child that isn't his.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:27 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • How do you know for sure? You need to tell him so you can get a paternity test. Be ready for the possiblity that he is going to leave you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Not for long he's not. I have no advice for you other than smarten the hell up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Wow... that's pretty awful. I'm assuming this child has already been born, and I have to say, you should have told him about you cheating on him WAY before now. I agree, the chance of him leaving you after you tell him is pretty high, but frankly, you would deserve it. He, on the other hand, deserves to know the truth. That's the least you can do for him. As for the consequences, like my grandmother always used to say "when you burn your ass, you gotta sit on the blisters".

    Answer by Anouck at 1:29 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • doesn't the real dad deserve to know he has a to tell him.. sit him down and tell him you cheated first , then tell him the truth about the child

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Wow.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I can't believe you let him go through that 9-8 months of preparing for a baby and now actually fathering. Every "special bond moment" he had with as he thought then "child' could be ripped away from this guy forever. Not only have you ruined the present, you've also ruined a certain amount of his future, "firsts" are something you can never taken back & when he evnetually does have a child thats his "first" he wouldn't be able to believe it or enjoy it until everything was proven. I am a military wife. There are alot of scandles that go on and we get a reputation as whores because there are alot of wives who cheat. I survived a 15 mon deployment when he was gone he came home inbetween for 10 days in those month and thats the only sex I had the entire time. A fortnight? Serioustly? And you cheated on him with a family friend? I read what you wrote you mentioned "kind of like" a one night stand? So there were other nights/men?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • You need to tell him, and tell him now. if he leaves you, you deserve it. Not only that but this baby's actual Father deserves to know the baby is his. And for God's sake be FAIR to your child. You're screwing with THREE ppls lifes...I left yours out because you've been selfish enough..

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • How to tell him, well you make sure he isn't tired or angry about something or busy. Maybe go to a public place like a park. Tell him in person. Tell him first that you are very sorry and will understand if he wants to split. You owe this to your child. This secret will come out and the sooner it is known the healthier your child will be growing up. Your husband may not leave you. He will be upset and understand he has every right to be and you have absolutely no excuse. You did the wrong thing and you need to admit it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • my husband works out of town sometimes up to 7 days in a row rarely more but sometimes more, i would NEVER use that as an excuse to be unfaithful, I dont know you or your sitution, I wont even allow guy friends to hang out when hubby isnt home i dont feel that is approiate behavior for a married woman, you need to tell you dh now while he can still make the choice himself and hopefully the child is young enough that he wont have any memory of the good guy mommy chased away by being unfaithful

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 2:17 PM on Dec. 22, 2009