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Answers / Parenting / General Parenting

Who should get the permanent birth control fix? Me or DH?

My husband & I are debating on who gets the permanent fix. We have a 3 year old son and a daughter due in February. We're 99.9% sure we don't want anymore kids. I'm having a c-section with my daughter so it would be pretty convenient for me to get my tubes tied, but I've heard the risks and side effects aren't as bad with a vasectomy. My doctor said in most circumstances they would prefer the man to get fixed, but in my situation, it would be more convenient. What route did you choose and why (if you & your SO decided to do something permanent)?

 
Journey311

Asked by Journey311 at 8:36 PM on Dec. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (32)
  • Many hospitals won't do the tubal at the same time. I hate to even mention this but if something should happen to the new baby would you be content with just one child? My advice would be to wait for a while, to see if the pregnancy hormones are talking or if you are really sure you don't want more. Then when there is less chance of a baby dying, like after the first year, or so get dh to do the surgery. My hubby said it was very easy, he only needed a bit of ice and some tylinol for the first day.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 1:39 AM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • Since youre already having surgery it would just be simpler for you, as youve said.
    Gealach

    Answer by Gealach at 8:37 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Well I just did it when I had the c-section, because if I waited around for DH to do it, it would never get done and I would get prego again. Also for insurance reasons, but that is a different story.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 8:38 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I choose Essure. It is an in-office alternative for woman. It causes scar tissue to form and thusly cannot self reverse like a tubal ligation or vasectomy. It is the only form of birth control to have NO pregnancies during the clinical trials. And you get confirmation that it worked.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 8:38 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • he should, incase things don't work out for you and your husband and you meet some young guy who would love to have children.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 8:40 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • the vascemtomy my ex had was fine, he hates needles though. all he felt was two sticks and twenty minutes later was walking out of there. he was laid up for a couple of days with guaze and was fine. no complications and able to have sex in a week.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 8:45 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • My Hubby did, he said I did enough work carrying and having them. He was in and out in less than 2 hours on a Thursday and back at work the following Monday.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 8:52 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • anyone who says they would rather have their partner do it than do it themselves is very selfish and you don't sound like you are very committed if you even think that you could possibly be with someone else and having their children in the future
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:58 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Well, since I don't want anymore kids, I got my tubes tied. Hubby doesn't want more kids but was unwilling to have the surgery. Since I'm the one that would carry the kid, I took on the responsibility. I have had zero negative side effects from having my tubes tied.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 9:21 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I had my tubes tied but mostly because it was me that knew 100% sure I was done. He still was on the fence, so I didn't pressure him. I made the decision.
    JenM1975

    Answer by JenM1975 at 9:25 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

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