Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

help me with christmas stress..

Ok every year my family mets at my Grandma's house for Christmas day.. We get there around 2pm eat, open gifts, & hang out to play a game.. but it do stressful because there are so many people there.. Recently I haven't spent anytime with my sweetie.. he has been working 40 hours a week & going to school.. This year what I really wanted is just to stay at home with him & my four kids..relax , but my grandma says it is my responsibility to be there when everyone else is.. or she will have nothing to do with me.I am so stressed out any advice I'm so upset all I can so is cry.. I love my family, christmas, but I just want to stay home....what would you do if your 88 year old grandmother said be there or else?
Note: I offered to go early, or late ,but she insists I be there when everyone else is there.

Answer Question

Asked by maiahlynn at 9:32 PM on Dec. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,143 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • well, I am torn on this one.

    She is 88 years old and will probably not be around that much longer. Make an old woman happy ;)

    But I do see that you wanna spend time with immediate family. I want that too ;)

    Is there any other day that you can spend relaxing? Like all Christmas eve? Or day after? Maybe shorten your time at granny's?

    Just some suggestions ;) Hope you figure it out!

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:35 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Oh and its not right for her to say that she will not have anything to do with you if you dont come. But I know several women in their 80's and they are all cantankerous! LOL

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:36 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Personally, I'm in a very similar situation and I feel as though if I don't go... I'll regret it when she's gone. I say make her happy... You have the rest of your life to just stay home. Besides, your SO and children will be there too, right?

    Answer by itsjaimiehere at 9:39 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Eh why not have you over for Christmas Eve dinner or even Christmas morning breakfast?

    Answer by pnwmom at 9:42 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • If she wants respect then she needs to give it as well no matter what age. I can't go places with lots of folks either and no family member would ask me to out of respect; however, I would find a way to get there to show them respect. Go early and when others start showing up then leave. You can tell them that you have to split your time with another event but wanted to say your hellos but have to leave. Give your love and go home.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:42 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • Grandma you old bat, smarter the hell up. Just because you're old doesn't give you the right to be a total bitch. Oh sorry I'm ranting..just imagining the stuff I would have said to my selfish granny when she was alive if I had been old enough to understand what a manipulative ninny that old goat was.

    Do whatever makes you happy. Screw everyone else. Life is too short to feel bad about wanting to do your own thing at the holidays.

    Merry frickin Christmas ;) Hang in there momma...deep breaths.....

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 9:43 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • this is she usually this demanding? if she is, you can be assured its just normal talk for her to try to threaten your holiday happiness with those words. if it makes you sleep better, you should go-perhaps limit your time there. on the other hand, your immediate family is what you have to live with every day..guilt shouldn't be part of that, even from gramma. surely, she's old enough to understand you wanting your family to enjoy your own special time. if its gramma you want to see on christmas, go see gramma..the rest of the family can stay with her all day. a general visit should be plenty.
    too many people try to please everybody during the holidays-don't let it bog you down, girl. you can't please all of them! in the end, you'll do what you know you should do, for your family's sake. gramma will understand.

    Answer by thehairnazi at 9:43 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • eh just do it and suck it up (sorry so sound harsh, not trying to be bitchy). there WILL be more times to spend with ur hubs. just make sure that you enjoy your time with him as much as possible. make a little game out of it. like when youre all hanging out give each other a secret signal when you've just thought about something sexy to do to each other...hehehe

    Answer by snoober_k at 9:49 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I don't know what is right for you but I would go. I usually end up at family functions and end up leaving early and annoyed or I just have a freaking great time. I have 9 sib.s and the one party I choose to make a stand at was my brother's last family function. He died shortly thereafter. I thought at the time, 'what ever there will be many more family functions and many more events to see everyone"... Hind site is 20/20.
    So I am slightly swayed. I would say go enjoy the family you have and make your stand another time during the year. Trust me I have over 150 immediate family. Take a deep breath in and out, try to stay focused. They love you and your grandmother thinks that family being together is important. I would agree, just the way she is going about it seems a bit harsh. Keep some private time with your kids and s//o before or after the event if you end up going. Or cut out at say 5. Go 2-5 and then go.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:51 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • She won't be around forever, I'd make a shorter appearance

    Answer by JenM1975 at 10:05 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.