I've been a stepmom for 5 years. My ss is 9 and he relates all of his experiences toward his mom and her household. My dh and I see him 3 days/evenings per week and even every other weekend. We went to Disneyland last month with him, and the whole time we were in line for a ride, he told us the number of times he had been to Disneyland. When we told him not to forget about going with us 2 years ago, he said he remembered nothing of the trip and that the only times he remembers going to D-Land is with his mom and cousins on his moms side. This has happened with other events, and even happened when he was asked to name all of his cousins. He has 4 on his dads side and they were not even mentioned! Why would my ss be leaving his dad and dads family out of his memory? They all love him very much and this is a shame to see happenening.Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Dec. 22, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)
Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Dec. 22, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Dec. 22, 2009
Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:52 PM on Dec. 22, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Dec. 22, 2009
Answer by angelairelan at 9:47 AM on Dec. 23, 2009
Answer by missanc at 1:48 PM on Dec. 23, 2009
Suggestion: Don't pressure him into having to name events and persons in his family on his dad's side. Continue to include him in family events and to make lasting memories. When he talks about his mom or activities with the other side of the family - just acknowledge it sounds like he had such a great time and your glad he has had the opportunities. No need to remind him about other things he has done with you and his dad. He may be in funk or a phase that could last a long while. This is normal for kids who have experienced divorce and two homes. My guess is at nine he does remember but is most likely trying to communicate his issues on divorce in a way that is not very desirable. Here is the thing: he may or may not even realize why he is doing it. Whatever the reason just have a good time and respond positively about his other experiences. All you can do is your best. The rest is up to him over the years.
Answer by frogdawg at 6:58 PM on Dec. 23, 2009
Answer by metalhealthmama at 10:05 PM on Dec. 29, 2009
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