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should i say something or just let it go?

the guy who raped me several years ago left xmas gifts for my kids by my front door, lucky enough my husband found them b4 the kids got home from school, my husband opened them took the toys out, put them in the toy box and threw away the candy. and said nothing to the kids about the toys, they didnt even notice them when they got home. i talk to his girlfriend who used to be my friend the other day cause she kept driving past my house so i called private and asked why she was driving by she said that her bf( the guy who raped me) wanted to see me i said oh hell no i dont want him here, she said well he having a hard time cause of the holidays and he has stuff for the kids i said i dont care i dont want him here period..
so should i confront her about this( i dont have anyway to contact him) or let it go this time and act like nothing happened. whats your advice?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Dec. 22, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I would have thrown the presents in the trash. Call the gf since she's the only one you can get ahold of. Tell her to tell him he better back off or next time you will call the police.

    Answer by robyann at 2:31 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • and should point out that the reason i called private is cause i changed my numbers (home and both cells) just so she couldnt get a hold of me, along with changing my email, now if only changing my home address would be that easy...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I personally would have a restraining order put on him...possibly both...and call the cops if you have proof of him showing up.

    I also would have donated the toys to a charity.

    He knows he shouldn't be there so contacting him won't do any good..just give him reinforcement. I would not ignore it though i would pursue a restraining order.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 11:45 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • I'm assuming you and she broke up because of her relationship with him? If so, then yes. I would tell her that her boyfriend couldn't ever buy my forgiveness and why, either directly or indirectly (through my kids). As for the toys, I would pack them up and give them away to either a domestic violence shelter or rape/incest survivor group. Perhaps it's just me but I'd never, ever let his energy into my home, around me, my kids, or my husband ever again. I'm proud of you for being able to get past this experience and find true love, not to mention not losing your sensuality. I too am a survivor and still have nightmares. I hope that you, like me, will pray for the men who rape.


    Answer by Ewadun at 11:50 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • "I hope that you, like me, will pray for the men who rape." not that recovered yet i're a strong woman.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 11:53 PM on Dec. 22, 2009

  • op here
    i do pray for him, pray that he suffers as much as i did and still do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • i would just call the police and give them a heads up that your rapist has come to your house unannounced and left things for your children (that shows he knows where you live, your kids, that is completely scary) u need to get a restraining order in place and if he does it again send him to the slammer. you cannot let someone harrass you that has already assulted you. you already know they are crazy enough to rape, so who know what else he is crazy enough to do. esp with the involvement of your kids, i would be on the phone in two seconds giving my statements.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:07 AM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • I agree with tntmom1027. totally! do it.

    Answer by incarnita at 9:44 AM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • Keep the hell away from him!

    Did you report the rape? It is NEVER too late.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Dec. 23, 2009