Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it wrong to rely on your fiance for emotional support when you lose your mother?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Dec. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Absolutely not! You are committed to eachother for life. If you have to ask you maybe you shouldn't be together...

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • Not at all but if he is anything like mine good luck! I am sorry for your loss:(

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • Of course not! I agree, if you have to ask (implying you can't lean on yours), you have a HUGE problem in your relationship. That's supposed to be your rock, your best friend, the ONE person you should always be able to count on...

    Answer by Anouck at 3:22 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • Who else should you rely on?

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:50 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • It is not wrong, but it is unrealistic to expect a person to give you what he is incapable of giving. That's what the dating process is about--it is to learn whether he has the character traits and the willingness to use them in a way that satisfies you. The opposite is true, as well. It's just that men don't have as many expectations to begin with. You should learn a major lesson from this situation and think very seriously about getting out of this relationship right now. You have no power to change him from who and what he is into the man that you want him to be. Your only other option is to be willing to settle for what he is and what he is willing to give to you in the way of emotional support and to do it for the rest of your life.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:51 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • no. He is supposed to be there for you in your time of need. If he can't be there for you when your mother passed then what else will he bail out on? I have been leaning on DH a lot lately, since the suicide death of my father 2 months ago. I told him that I feel bad b/c sometimes the smallest things cause me to break down. He said no that is ok, he understands that it is very hard to lose a parent and knows that I will be there for him when his own parents pass away. If he can't stand by your side and be a shoulder to cry on then I might think twice about marrying him. Sorry for your loss.

    Answer by jombmomi at 4:13 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • He should be the primary person to lean on during something like that!
    If you can't then you shouldn't be marrying him.
    I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know what I'd do if I lost my mum.
    I know my husband would be there for me though.

    Answer by Laila-May at 6:57 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.