Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I get the romance back?

My husband & I just welcomed our daughter into the world a little over a month ago. I've been breastfeeding exclusively & things have been going amazingly well as far as all of us adjusting to this "new life". One thing is way different though. My libido. I do apologize if this is TMI, but before she was born - it seemed like my husband & I were ALWAYS "in the mood". Now, he's still in that phase but I'm not. I just don't feel like it. I know that's typical for the first few weeks while the hormones readjust, but I still haven't been up for physical intimacy. I don't even really like kissing him, or cuddling either. What's the deal? How can I get the romance back in my marriage? Is something wrong with me?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Dec. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • YOu just had a baby, so you are very focused on the little one right now, and subconciously that's probably all that's on your mind, and your hormones are still getting back to normal and you are probably a little sleep deprived, you will get back on track, and when you do I'd take things slow at first it's an adjustment after having a baby it's just different. But what you are going through is normal and you guys will be back in the swing of things before you realize it.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 5:07 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • You have so much on your mind right now that sex is last on the list. Relax it will come back in time that sex will be appealing. For now, you have so much going on... explain to your sweetie this and maybe it will benefit you both. Best of luck.

    Answer by Alicia10-2-08 at 5:08 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • Absolutely nothing wrong with you... I had a much higher sex drive than my SO before we had our baby (probably much higher than most people's, come to think of it). Afterwards... NOTHING. Didn't want to have sex, didn't really care to be intimate at all. I think partly it's hormones, partly it's being exhausted, partly it's just being completely focused on your baby. However, for me it is just now going back to normal, and my baby is 15 months! Luckily, I have a very understanding SO, heh. And we're definitely trying to make up for lost time.

    Just tell your husband to be a little patient, it'll come back.

    Answer by Anouck at 5:11 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • Your hormones will get back to normal and it will be ok soon

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:05 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • My son will be 3 next month...I still don't have mine back.
    I did just have my daughter in August but I still wasn't all that frisky before I got pregnant with her either. I could probably count on one hand the number of times we had sex in the past year.

    If you find out then let me know.

    As soon as I'm done breast feeding I'm hitting up the health food store for something to increase my sex drive. My poor, poor patient husband. Lol!

    Answer by Laila-May at 6:45 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

  • There is nothing wrong with you, it takes a while to recover from childbirth and the hormones to settle down. Being a new mom is rough, and as others said sex is the last thing on the mind. Hopefully your hubby understands that you have alot going on right now, and that you love him, but just are not in the mood. Maybe spend some time together just cuddling or snuggling instead.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Dec. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.