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Discipline

I hate spanking. I don't think it's best for the child and I admit I do it. I spank my DS out of anger. Don't get me wrong, I don't beat him, but I will give him a smack on his butt. I hate it! I hate myself for spanking him.

I also yell. I'm a loud person anyway but I do yell. I will deepen my voice and yell.

He deserves better than me. I'm not going to debate with anyone so if you post something nasty I'm just going to ignore it. I just want some advice to be a better parent. Oh, and my son is 4.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on Dec. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (22)
  • So what is your question??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I used to spank my son and then I realized that it didn't work. Time outs are amazing. Start giving those. Time outs aren't just for the kid, they're for the parent too. I'm happy that you know you can do better.

    With the yelling thing..look at it this way, you tell your kid not to yell, right? Well, he leads by your example. It takes repitition. You'll get it eventually.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 12:07 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I can honestly say I have both those problems as well. I also have a 4 year old son. AND a 6 year old daughter, 2 year old son and 9 mth old baby boy. lol. anyways, I also hate spanking and feel horrible for it. I as well yell way to much. I don't think children deserve to treated like that or talked to like that. But when I get too frusterated with them I do yell too much or too loud. And I always always feel horrble afterwards. Well obviously you and i both cannot fix whats already been done and said BUT just think of every day as a new day.... you DON"T have to yell...you DONT have to spank. If he gets you too angry, just tell him to sit down for a few mins and walk to your bedroom or bath room and just sit for a few mins to get things together. Like you said you don't beat your child and neither do I. BUT still a child should be respected just as an adult. Just try and THINK before you do or say something. Hope that helps!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • Who said you had to be a perfect parent? Trust me, there is no such thing. We all make mistakes. As long as we acknowledge them and correct OUR behavior, our kids will forgive us.

    Don't be so hard on yourself. Parenting is the hardest job in the world, and we only learn as we go along.
    sgtdemanda

    Answer by sgtdemanda at 12:11 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I understand the anger, I have come close a dozen times *DD had colic* but i grit my teeth*Literally* but I hated MYSELF for even THINKING about doing it! I got my courage and told my DH and turns out, he felt the same way. SO I yell too, and my DD knows not to touch the Xmas tree or her butt will get a swat shes a yr and its not AT ALL hard, just a little warning. But I hated myself for even thinking that. I understand what your going through and just try to figure out WHY you get so angry. My reason was I was soooooooOOOooOOoooOOOOO stressed out. Still working on it though. Good lucka nd try to count to 5 or even 3 and try to put urself in his shoes.
    shortycmlb

    Answer by shortycmlb at 12:12 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • His nursing behavior is really starting to bother me. He's is starting to bite, which he has never done, and I think he's too old to bite me. He bit me once when I was asleep and I just woke up and gave hime some smacks on his rump and then I felt like shit.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • Look, I am a therapist and taught parenting classes. Do you think I am a perfect parent? Okay, you don't know me. Trust me, I'm not perfect. I haven't met a perfect parent out there. There are times when I do get frustrated and I have raised my voice at my three year old. I have other very good parenting tools and most of the time I do very well. There are times however when I am not really at my Mommy best and I get over loaded. It may be we are running late and he wets his pants, spills his drink, or in general something I find undesirable. In the few times I have raised my voice I have felt like crap....lower than crap. I have this new promise to myself and I have made good on it. When I am frustrated I count to three, look at him, and smile (inwardly) at how much I love him. Then I hug him and explain why I am upset. I find hugging defuses the situation for me. He knows he made a poor choice

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:36 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • based off my tone. We have always sat down to find a solution and talk about the poor choice. The difference is now I am actively working on not raising my voice. Its working but takes practice. His reaction has also improved because when I don't raise my voice he doesn't raise his or buck up.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:38 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I just love him so much. I had a shitty childhood and never want my child to fee like i do and sometimes I worry he does. I want another baby and my DH thinks I'm a wonderful mother but my mother says to me all the time, I hope you never have more kids because you can't handle your one .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • You might want to try some counseling too.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 12:43 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

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