Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

would this bother you?

I try to tell dh I love him everyday and 95% of the time I get a "ya" in return. It bugs the crap out of me.

Answer Question
 
mom06and09

Asked by mom06and09 at 1:50 AM on Dec. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • my dh tells me i love you every 5 minutes, and it bugs the crap out of me so i get it but in the reverse lol, it only bugs me because i have become so used to it that i respond with i love you too and he didnt even say it lol, we laugh about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I would just ask him why he doesn't say it back. Begin there.....

    And if he doesn't really know or doesn't have a reason that makes sense, simply tell him that it bothers you and that you wish he would respond back. Some people have a hard time saying it or think it loses its "shimmer" if stated too often.....

    If you KNOW he loves you, then do you really NEED for him to respond??? Can you live without it? If you are uncertain about his feelings, then it is this uncertainty that bothers you, and the problem is deeper than the words.....

    I can tell you that I don't say it back to my husband, because I don't feel the same way....he actually stopped saying it because I would answer, "uh huh" or "Awww that's nice." or "you're cool too." or "you're ai-ight."
    TLALONDE16

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 1:59 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • That's just it. When we first got together he was always the one to say it first. Until I really did love him I didn't respond. He knew why. Then one day I started responding then saying it when we'd leave eachother or end a phone conversation. Now I get a ya and I can't help but be bugged by it.
    mom06and09

    Answer by mom06and09 at 2:10 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • Maybe he doesn't love you.
    .Unforgiven.

    Answer by .Unforgiven. at 3:43 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • No, it wouldn't bother me. I would prefer he shows it in his everyday actions than wear it out telling me all the time. Starts sounding like a tv commercial or sucka play for something.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 7:11 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • It would really only bother me if his actions didn't indicate that he loved me. If he was still showing me all the time that he loved me, then althought it might be a little disappointing, I wouldn't let it really get to me. I also would just sit down and tell him it bothers me if it did. My boyfriend said it to me first the first time, and 9 times out of 10 he says it first anyway. It's actually funny, I randomly said it to him last night, and he's like, "I love you, too. What'd I do wrong?" I have heard the words said by people who didn't really mean it, so they don't mean as much to me as they probably should, although he is changing that for me.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:23 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • Given the fact that he used to say it and just up and quit then yeah, if I were you, it would bug me. Talk to him about it and see what is going on. Communication is a very big foundation stone in a great relationship. (=
    Krysden

    Answer by Krysden at 8:08 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • umm..yea. that would DEFINATELY bug the crap out of me. talk to him about it...ask him why he doesn't say it back.
    does he ever intitially tell YOU he loves you?

    definately address this one.
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 10:21 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • Some guys are not into touchy feely. I know SO would walk away if I said that so I spend my time showing him instead. He's ok with that and he can show his feelings for me as well bc hell would freeze over before he said something mushy!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:50 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • It would bug me. If a man is not comfortable with saying I love you it just shows immaturity and problems with intimacy on his part.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN