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for the ladies that havent had sex with their SO in a very long time: why? and how is ur relationship affected by this?

Read another post about this and saw an answer about a woman not having sex with her SO for 4 yrs. How is this ok? Not judging, I'm really just curious.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:11 AM on Dec. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I haven't had sex with my husband in 4 almost 5 months, but that is because he is deployed. generally we have sex at least 3 times a week, most of the time more. everyone's relationships are different and so are their sex drives. as long as they are happy and fulfilled in their relationship, then I would assume that whatever their sex life is is healthy for them.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 2:18 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • it was a long time for me, cause my dh was deployed. now he is back, and we kinda dont want to have sex. he got used to not having it, sometimes we want to, and just need to make time to make love..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • well babe, i am the one from the other post and sadly i am in a relationship that is slowly going to shit, im not happy and im sick of pretending that i am...he has no worked in over thee years and to be dead honest i am the only one supporting all of us (me,him and out two kids) so sadly in my head i feel like i am taking care of another child, i do the same things for him that i do for my kids, feed, them, buy everything and so on...so lately i have decided that i am not going to live like this anymore, i want to get out of this relationship and i think it would be better for everyone,,,so no i dont have se with him, because i cant bring myself to do it, i cannot have intimate feelings for someone that is so far from being a ''man'' and refuses to work and provide for his family..

    sorry didnt mean to ramble
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • My dh & I haven't had sex in 4 mo but before that it was really sporadic. Before I got pregnant we'd go at it @ least twice a day & most weekends we'd spend in bed. I was puking my entire pregnancy & felt like crap. Now that she's out I physically feel better but am not in the mood for sex. He works long hours & by the time he gets home I'm too tired to even just lie there. He would love it if we were having sex but I don't feel that close to him, he's pretty inconsiderate so when I'm disappointed in him its hard to engage in such a personal experience. I miss the way it was before but as long as I have a baby, a puppy, and a husband that still can't figure out his socks go in the hamper & not in the middle of the table I don't think we'll be swinging from any chandaliers anytime soon.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:12 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • there's many reasons for couples not having sex for months. some have husbands in the military, some are on pelvic rest during pregnancy, and some just really don't have a drive anymore.

    my hubby & I have sex anywhere from 2-6x a week. depends on the week and my hubby's work schedule. this month, he's on the night shift. so he works all night and then comes home and sleeps most of the day. doesn't really leave much time for love-making. so on months like this...our times per week is down...just because we don't get much intimate time with each other.

    I think as long as a couple is happy, fullfilled and satisfied with their sex activity portion of their life, who cares? if they're HAPPY, that's all that matters.

    however, if one or both parties are NOT satisfied...then yes, you have a problem.
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 10:19 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • the last anoynomous person, i felt very similar. i didn't have the drive to do a damn thing after having a baby. we got in alot of fights about me not wanting to have sex or even seduce him. it's hard to feel sexy after having a baby. my drive is still gone and it's been 2 1/2 years. but his has decreased as well, thank god! haha now it's probably once a week or once every 2 weeks. i try to get sexy for him every so often. cuz yeah, he's still attractive and what not, i just never want to have sex. some woman are hornier after they have a kid. not me! but i can't see going like a year w/o sex for no good reason...
    TBSNBubblegum

    Answer by TBSNBubblegum at 12:12 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • We haven't done it in a while cuz I've been on the rag and he can't stomach even a little blood. LOL sorry TMI...but we usually do it once or twice a week.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 2:28 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • We haven't had sex in 10 years and we are very much in love. My husband is paralyzed from the waist down and cannot perform. It stinks but we married for better or worse and I am here for the long haul. We have found a deeper intimacy since we cannot have sex and I think that is wonderful. I think if a marriage is based on sex or is only about sex it will fail. If a marriage is founded on the love and commitment a couple has to one another it can weather any storm. Depends on the couple and what is most important to them. Many women here would have left their husband after what we have been through. I love him more and admire the strength he has and makes me love him even more.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I haven't had sex with my current boyfriend and we've been dating for 2yrs. Neither of us believe in sex before marriage. The last man I was with was my ex hubby. You don't need sex to have a good relationship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • My husband has a bad back and also from his back problems his hips will go out of joint. So the last time we made love it didn't work out well for us. I have a high sex drive and could handle having sex 4 or 5 times a week. Now we are done to practically nothing.It's been months, and some days I feel like I will go crazy. But I am trying to be supportive b/c I do love him. But how do you get over the physical need of not being able to have sex?
    jspeckles

    Answer by jspeckles at 9:45 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

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