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WHY DO SOME PEOPLE HAVE TO BE SO RUDE?

OK MY GIRLS COUSIN IS MAD AND LEFT ME A RUDE COMENT ON MY MYSPACE SEE ERIKA AND BETH ARE MY FIANCES GIRLS THEIR MOM DIED IN 2006 AND IVE BEEN WITH THEIR DAD FOR NOW 2 AND A HALF YEARS HELPING HIM RAISE THE GIRLS AND SHE SAYS DONT I KNOW THAT THEY HAVE A MOM AND IM NOT THEIR MOM WELL I LOVE THE GIRLS AS IF THEY WERE MINE AND SHES GOING TO BE REALLY MAD WHEN I ADOPY THEM AFTER WE GET MARRIED IN 2010 WELL HOW CAN SHE BE SO RUDE!!!

Answer Question
 
nancy155777

Asked by nancy155777 at 9:32 AM on Dec. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Ummm, wow.....Would you consider adding some punctuation and stop shouting (altough I can see that you are upset) because it makes it really hard to read when it is in all capital letters.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • How old are these girls? I think I would learn to respect their feelings before I even considered adopting them. They are dealing with a lot and you don't sound very supportive and understanding of all they are going through. Obviously, in those years you have helped you have not accomplished a strong and positive bond with them. Stop trying to replace mom and just be yourself. Work on being a good step mother first. That might take years on its own but adoption doesn't sound like something the girls want. Respect that. I think having the girls express their honest feelings, even if only on myspace, is a good thing. Now it would be better if you'd listen without being offended. A good mom hears the message behind the words. Work on your listening skills and you won't think they are being rude, they are being honest.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • Well, the OP meant that the girls Cousin left that remark, not the girls themselves.

    OP, yes, it was rude but just continue doing what you are doing. You can't please everyone!

    Delete the comment and move on :)

    all4mymarine

    Answer by all4mymarine at 9:50 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • Well for some reason she does not like you. She thinks you are taking over the real Moms place. Maybe with time she will come to like you.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:58 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • First I would ignore the cousin. She is not the one you need to be concerned with. I would however talk with the girls and see if they have any issue with anything that is happening. Why do you need to adopt them? If there is some legal reason then go for it, but you can get medical care and what not without adopting them and that might help the bio moms side of the family deal with it better. My father passed when I was 14 and my sister was 12 and my mom remarried 2 years later and my step dad never adopted us and they had sole custody of his two kids (who were 5 and 9 when they got married) and my mother never adopted them either. All of us were covered under my step dads medical insurance and my mother regularly took my step siblings to the ER and doctor.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • people are rude to get a reaction ! and you are giveing her one
    freedomthinks

    Answer by freedomthinks at 10:19 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • It sounds like the girls are still deeply hurt at the loss of their mother and you are an easy target. As a step-mom to a 10 year old, I have experienced this. My husband I have been together 61/2 years and I went thru this with his daughter, still do sometimes. Just try backing off a bit and being their friend for awhile. Just let them know you would never try to replce their mother, you just want to be an active part of their lives. If you try to build a relationship from this perspective, it will make them feel more comfortable. The mother is the most influential part of a girls life and loosing your mom as a child is devastating, so I would do things with them to remember their mother. Make a scrapbbok with them containing pictures and words to remember their mother by. This will let them know that you respect their feelings and let them know you don't want their mom to be forgotten. Good luck Mama! Hope this helps.
    Am19v

    Answer by Am19v at 10:55 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • Its a good deed for you to be thinking about the girls. The cousin may have been close to the mom and don't know how to let her go? Just try to keep on doing the same things you have been doing . It sounds like you are a great mom to be. and please to the one who responded to you about the SHOUTING>>>>>GET OVER IT..we aren't in school any more...MY TYING IS NO LOUDER IN CAPS THEN IN little letters have your mental state checked.......you also may need glasses getting OLSER are we...JUST JOKING...nope no louder at all....NinaJo
    ninajo

    Answer by ninajo at 10:56 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • It seems that people are just like that/.....there is always somone who is jealous or someone who wants to control or someone who is a little nuts but,hey, that is life.
    I don't get why you are so angry.....and I don't get why you can't use PUNCTUATION??? HAve you had high school English yet? How old are you? LOL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • Maybe the cousin is expressing something the girls told her. Try backing down and being a step mom. Just because their mother died doesn't mean she's gone to them. Try to help them remember her and it will help all of you.
    PeytonNBella

    Answer by PeytonNBella at 11:18 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

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