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Is it worse if he cheats with and ex girlfriend and why do you think that?

i am thinking of giving him another chance but everyone says no because it was his ex , any reason behind that?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Dec. 24, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • For me I've always told me dh that it would hurt more if he had an actual relationship with someone vs just having sex with a girl. Not that I want or think he would ever do either, but it's the whole fact that he would have shared more than just his physical body with her.

    Answer by missanc at 12:07 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • BC it might happen again and again. He's got a bond with her. If he cheated with a stranger it might be a one time thing. With an x there is a chance of a repeat.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:53 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • No, it's not worse. If my boyfriend cheated on me with ANYONE, ex or not, male or female, I'd be pissed. Would I give him a second chance? MAYBE. It would depend on if he actually felt remorse for doing it, how long it went on, what kind of feelings were involved, and if it was the first time he ever cheated or if it had happened before. I forgave my ex multiple times, and nothing changed, so I wouldn't do that again. I would give my boyfriend one more chance, if I truly felt he felt bad for it and still wanted to make it worse, but if he did it a second time, I'd be out the door.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:53 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • oops...that should have read "Still wanted to make it WORK", not "worse". Sorry about that.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:56 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • i agree with admckenzie there's a bond there... hes more likely to go back to her again and again. even if its just a friend thats a girl, theres a bond there and its possible hed do it again. if it was some random chick from the bar, and it happened one time, he might not do it again. if i was thinking about taking a man back after cheating on me, 1. it wouldnt be right away, and 2. he'd have to prove himself for at LEAST two months before hand. jmo though.

    Answer by mommykayti at 11:58 AM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • i think yes it is because IF i wasnt married and went out with my ex whom just gotten divorced, he'd still have that extra baggage. the ex is always there if he chooses she should be there. there's always that connection with the ex

    Answer by americansugar80 at 12:18 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I don't think it matters either way. He disrespected you enough to cheat on you once. Getting back together with him teaches him that he can have his cake & eat it too, & if he is so stupid & selfish enough to cheat one time, he will cheat again.

    Cheaters always strike again. The first time it takes serious balls to cheat & it just keeps getting easier.

    Do yourself the biggest favor ever & do not take him back. PERIOD!

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:18 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I agree with samurai chica, if a man cheats on you its a total deal breaker. It doesn't mattere whether it is an ex or someone random. If you forgive them, then there is a much bigger possibility that they will think it's ok to do it again and does keep getting easier for them. I'm not saying that a man wont change, but i've noticed anything I forgive my husband for doing, he has done again and again cuz he knows sometimes its easier to ask for forgiveness instead of permission.

    Answer by lowencope at 2:39 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • You really need to make your own decision. I agree that there is a bond there and that is scary, but maybe he wont do it again. Not everyone does. It is really up to you. You are the one that has to be in the relationship. And leaving, also isn't so easy. Just think about it carefully. If you choose to stay you have to actually be there. And if he is inclined to cheat again you will find out soon enough.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Dec. 24, 2009