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What's your opinion on this drama?!

Long story short mind you! I have a photography business that's just starting out. My sister offered her help "as my sister" even though I offered her to be a part of the biz. She claimed to get my in contact with the national guard firefighters. She got upset one night because she asked if I was keeping her out of the loop and I told her "yes because I have it completely handled, everything is perfect". She threw a fit and wanted to know where her share of the profits were and if I didnt give her her share she was going to sue me. I kept everything decent and told her thanks for the help but because she is doing that she can't be a part of mine or my babies' lives. Few days later the Sargent of the national guard told me she had NOTHING to do with our contact with one another. now im about to go to my fathers for christmas and everone is looking at me like I am wrong for bringing the kids into it. Was I wrong? After all...

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Bugsmommy1908

Asked by Bugsmommy1908 at 6:52 PM on Dec. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (23 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • she was going to sue me for "everything" and that was going to hurt my babies more then it would me! I was never harsh or used ANY hurtful words as she did. How should I cop with tonight and seeing her? She I try to mend things?
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 6:53 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I can tell you from my own experience that family is family and money is money and the two shouldn't be mixed because it's just not worth it.
    I'd give her the dang money and cut all business ties with her and tell her that I love her and money should never come between us again so that is why.
    I'd never have kept my kids away from my sister in law over a problem she and I had either. It's wrong to use the kids to hurt someone because they're people, not weapons and it hurts them too to not get to see people they love.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:01 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I personally wouldn't have brought the children into it. It wasn't directly involving them and it's an issue that you can probably work out. I think everyone just needs to calm down and re-visit the subject after you have had some time to relax and then maybe you can talk about it more rationally. As far as mending ways ~ It's family and you never know when your last day will be with them so cherish every moment you have.
    Comfycozy77

    Answer by Comfycozy77 at 7:03 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • i didnt use my babies as a weapon. that is how she took it. and I have cut all ties and there was NEVER any profits to give her and thats why I'm frustrated. AND she was never apart of the business to be exact, she was just being a sister supposedly by supporting me.
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 7:03 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I'd take Byron Katie's advice: don't look out there, at other people, for love, acceptance or appreciation. It's not available, anyhow, and you'll turn yourself inside out trying to please everyone without knowing what's going to piss them off. Go to the event and watch what people do and say, keeping in mind that they are living in their very own 'in head' wolrds, and their stuff is not a reflection of you, but of them.

    Business arrangements that have 'understandings' rather than contracts often go wrong. It's the source of contract law. If you didn't sign anything it will cost your sister a LOT of money to sue you, ultimately to end up paying YOUR court costs. Consider her outburst nothing but a temper tantrum and ignore the content... she was hurt and angry and operating out of the dumbest part of her brain. It's not her fault, it happens to everyone from time to time.

    Let it go. Without expecting anyone else to first
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 7:17 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • She can't sue you. You didn't have a contract, not even a verbal contract that benefitted her so yeah it wasn't nice you made it personal and threatened to remove the kids from her life. Business is business. Personal is personal. Learn to keep them separated.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:17 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • p.s. Offering her a Finder's Fee for helping make a contact that works out for you would be a thought. Offering her 10% of the profit or some flat rate Finder's Fee is fair.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:19 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • Uh, saying that she cannot be part of your or your babies' lives is using them as a weapon. You may have felt frustrated and cornered and didn't say what you really meant, but you said it. Just tell her that you were feeling frustrated and cornered and that you really do want her in your life. Plus there are no profits to be had, so oh well.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 7:19 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • Well if she didn't have anything to do with the contact from the national guard, then who did? That doesn't make sense. If she wasn't the one to get you in contact then how did it come about?

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 7:21 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I kept everything decent and told her thanks for the help but because she is doing that she can't be a part of mine or my babies' lives.

    That is using the kids as a weapon... sorry but it is.
    I'd be straight up and tell her that there were no profits and then ask her since there was no money involved, what does she feel she's owed and I'd give it to her and then never do any type of business or use any contacts from her in any way again so there's no room for problems.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:24 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

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