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Why is my dh such a pushover?

Oh my! So our time with my ss got interrupted this morning. SS mom has had him for 5 days straight, and our visit time began as of yesterday afternoon about 2:00. We picked him up from his daycare, and we get him until 11:30am Christmas Day. So, dh receives a call from her saying her boyfriend,(whom she started dating again after being broken up for 4 mos), had a gift for my ss and that he would not be around on Christmas day to give, and just had to see my ss either for dinner or breakfast to give the gift to, as long as it was given before Chrismtas. My dh agreed w/out asking questions, and let him go to breakfast this morning with ss mom and her bfrnd. His gift was a superhero book. I told my husband that was strange he allowed this to happen since #1- it was last minute, #2- it's not a family member he was going to see, #3- he was giving up his own parent time with his son to his xw bfrnd! DH response- Absolutely nothing.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:28 PM on Dec. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Maybe dh didn't care about seeing ss.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • I don't want to believe that. From the time I met dh over 5 years ago, he was so happy his son wanted to visit him in his new place after his divorce to his mom. He became the focal point in my dh life. I know he has said having kids is a tough responsibility, but has done excellent in raising him so far. However, he has also said he wants no more kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • What he did was good.... he was unselfish.
    What he did was right... he worked with the Mom and son and put what he wanted/needed to the side to benefit the child.
    He likely didn't say anything in response because you obviously don't get it. When the child doesn't live with you, you want them to want to come back and sometimes you just have to change plans, sometimes you have to work together.
    He did the right thing regardless if it was a book or a new car... it was a great considerate thing he did.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:56 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • maybe he did it because he didn't want to cause conflict w/ u're ss's mother. It is Christmas, maybe he just didn't feel like fighting

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • He probably wanted his son to get the present. Do you miss your ss? Do you personally want more time with him? I think its great that all of you are so involved and want to be with him. Let your husband and his xw handle visitation issues. They will know what's best for him and if they both agree on it, then there really shouldn't be an issue. Do you really think he was being spineless or doing what he thought would make his son happiest at Christmas?

    Answer by lowencope at 9:50 PM on Dec. 24, 2009

  • My ss never asked to have breakfast with his moms bf, he was told that's what was happening. Ss mom must be selfish then since she refused to allow us to take him to a drive in movie of his favorite movie and her reason for saying no- she said it was her night with him and although she admitted to having nothing planned with him, said he couldn't go. I guess she doesn't have his best interest?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 AM on Dec. 31, 2009

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