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my mother sometimes gets on my nerves. She tries to pick arguements with me. and Im tired of it.so my question is

how can I ignor her or even pretend that I don't hear her, without her getting to me?So that maybe she'll finally stop.

 
incarnita

Asked by incarnita at 3:14 AM on Dec. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,386 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • It really depends on your situation.Do you live on your own or do you live with your mom? If you live with her it would be much harder to ignore her. But if you do live on your own my suggestion is telling her that you will no longer put up with her behavior. Tell her you love her but until she is able to treat you with respect that you will be keeping your distance from her.
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 3:20 AM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • Why don't you really listen to whatever she's trying to get across, that way perhaps she'll take the needle off the record? Effective communication requires that one person receives, while the other transmits. Then paraphrase what you heard them say, in your own words, and finally state your opinion. On the flip side, would you want your own kids to pretend they didn't hear you, or ignore you?

    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 3:23 AM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • I would NEVER have told my Mother to "shut the hell up". But on the other hand, my Mom wasn't the kind that picked arguements with anyone.
    My way of doing that with someone other than my Mom is to say "Okay you've said what you thought/felt, and I heard you, now I don't want to talk about that anymore right now". Or "This conversation is starting to go in a direction I don't want to go, I'm starting to get upset and I don't want to say something I'll regret later, so change of subject please". Almost always stops it in it's tracks because an arguementive person doesn't like argueing with someone who won't argue back.
    Conversation change please and if they don't cooperate, you say "okay, I'll try talking to you again later but right now I've got to walk away before either of us say something we'll regret".
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 4:55 AM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • Lisa want to trade moms for a weekend ;)
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 5:16 AM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • What I do when my mom does that is tell her that I am not listening or talking to her until she quits whatever she is doing, and I then say goodbye and hang up, and if it is in person just say good bye and get up walk away, if you giver her any attention her behavior will continue if you just walk away or hang up it happens a lot less. My mom used to pick fights daily now it is maybe monthly I stopped talking to her for months after we fought about my wedding and then she didn't come.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 6:28 AM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • You and your mother are both adults. Adults can tell each other that they have a bothersome behavior and kindly ask them to stop.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:51 AM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • My mother has been like this for as long as i can remember. While I was still living at home i couldn't ignore her, if i tried she would get on a subject that she knew i wouldn't be able to keep calm about until she had me arguing with her. Now that I no longer live with her i simlpy tell her that I dont want to hear it and either hang up the phone or leave her house. She finally got the message that i was an adult and wasn't going to take it anymore and has quit trying to pick arguments. Good Luck with your mom!
    alexsmomma06

    Answer by alexsmomma06 at 6:52 AM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • My mom used to be the same way!!! I finally just had to end conversations with her and tell her I was hanging up the phone or walking away because I wasn't going to argue with her (she would also put me down and name call too) I would try something like that, set some boundaries with her and evetually (hopefully) she will get it and know that you won't listen to her when she is picking fights. Good luck!!
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 11:23 AM on Dec. 25, 2009

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