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how do I get my son to answer people when they talk to him?

When family members ask him questions he just wont answer them. ZHe just trys to ignor them. AndI tried everything. I.ve talked to him about it. Iv'e had perople doing the same thing to him to see how it feels. He doesn't seem to care. I need some advice on this because tomorrow Im goingto a great-aunt's house and he needs to answer people when they ask him questions.

 
incarnita

Asked by incarnita at 10:34 PM on Dec. 25, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 14 (1,386 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I hear you on this one. My girls are shy even with family. And it takes a moment. And my family is big on manners. How old is he though?????? If hes old enough to know better than hes old enough to know better. lol . Kids are kids though. Continue to tell him when someone asks, how are you answer them im fine thank you. Or a polit hello. That your family is taking him wrong thinking its rude. When you know hes not a rude little boy. He doesnt have to have a conversation but being polite is a natural human behavior. Even though he is trying your patience, give him more. Always showing him kindness.
    mommymeof2

    Answer by mommymeof2 at 11:31 PM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • No he doesn't have to. My parents forced me to "be polite" and answer people. It made me ill. Turns out I have sociophobia and they just made it worse by forcing me to interact with ppl. If you love your son, accept him as is and don't force him to do things that are difficult for him. Let him get to know the people and gain trust and confidence then he will speak to them. For now, let him work out his own issues. He knows he is disappointing you which is adding to his anxiety. Just tell him it's ok, that he doesn't have to speak. Tell them he's uncomfortable speaking. If they don't respect that then they don't respect him
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:38 PM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • WELL, THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT. BECAUSE THEY GET UPSET WITH ME ,WHEN HE DOES THAT AND TELL'S ME THAT HE'S BEING RUDE, WHERE AS TO A CERTAIN DEGREE i AGREE WITH THEM. KNOW DO YOU SEE WHY i worry about this.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 10:53 PM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • OP has he always been this way with anyone who doesnt live in your home? I agree with admckenzie, You shouldtn force it if it is ucomfortable for him, not only that but when people complain to you about it you should stand up and explain that he is uncomfortable in crowds of people family or otherwise.

    I have a son who shuts down in groups of people he either doesnt know or only sees rarely and if anyone takes issue with that they can take it up with me and ill let them know that he is in no way being rude it is who he is. My son has Aspergers so i get that my situation is a bit different than yours but we are still dealing with the same problem of not responding to people, does your son just not like the crowds? the noise? do you think it is possible that he is overwhelmed by the environment. I know when i get in a crowd of loud people who all want in my face i am not exactly jolly about it, I hate it.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 11:33 PM on Dec. 25, 2009

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