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Mom of a 5 year old and due in March with number 2. Husband is out to sea and will be gone for the birth.

We just moved to the San Diego, CA area and know noone and family is 1800 miles away. I don't know what I'm going to do while I'm in the hospital with baby number 2 for my daughter. She is in kindergarten and I am really worried that noone will be here i.e. family or friends. Noone is sure if they can come or not and like I said I don't really know anyone here. Anyone have any suggestions? Really worried about my little girl during this time and can't get it off my brain. Thanks..

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amandahoyt

Asked by amandahoyt at 11:40 PM on Dec. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (5)
  • I am assuming he is in the Navy. I don't know much about the Navy, but I know that the Army has Family Child Care on post. Maybe you can let her stay with someone for a few days while you are in the hospital and make arrangements to have them bring her to see you while you are there. Also, check with your husband's unit, maybe they can help in some way. Again, I am not familiar with the Navy, but I know that the Army has plenty of resources for families so I would assume that the Navy does too. Good Luck!

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 11:48 PM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • Contact the Ombudsman, and contact your FRG / Family Support Group! I know that often, they have bad reputations, and sometimes, they're deserved. But not always, and not even most of the time - it's just that the "bad ones" stand out. Even if the first few people you meet there aren't "for you" so to speak, keep in mind that not everyone is going to be like them. Just don't get caught up with drama, and you will find that there are a lot of really nice people there, who also just avoid or ignore any drama.

    Your Ombudsman can help you with resources in your area / at your command, and can help notify your dh when the baby is born, and also get you on the "new babies" list for homecoming. Your Spouse Group is a great place to meet other wives, many of them who have been in your shoes and will be more than glad to help you.

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:51 PM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • Cont.

    Also, of course this part is going to depend on your dh's Chief, and if they are a man or a woman, and if they're married or not, and if so, what kind of person they're married to. But I would also consider talking to your dh's Chief's wife or another wife from your dh's shop.

    I know this is a stress, and I know you're going to worry (we moved just before my 3rd trimester with our 2nd, and my dh wasn't on a ship, and I stressed over who would watch our 15 mo old ds. Now, this was yrs ago, but I still remember how worried I was.) But, believe me, help is there, you just need to let them know that you need it, and reach out for it!

    Trust me on that, I can't tell you how many times over the yrs I've helped with this sort of thing!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:55 PM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • Oh, and yes, all bases have Family Child Care, regardless of the branch (we're Navy, and we've lived on Army bases and are on an Air Force base now, and the Marines fall under the Navy for that sort of stuff, and have family and friends from all branches.) :-)

    Unfortunately, not all of them have "drop off" care for Dr's appointments and stuff, that's based on their manning and everything at their facility. And they don't help with this sort of thing :-(
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:58 PM on Dec. 25, 2009

  • Look into Respite Care through the CDC on base. They'll get you hooked up with a home daycare provider that will be able to take your oldest while you're in the hospital. Also, look into Operation Special Delivery. They offer doula services free of charge for pregnant women when their spouse is deployed. I met my doula through them and she's wonderful!
    vances_mom

    Answer by vances_mom at 10:50 AM on Dec. 26, 2009

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