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Great relationship but... am I a dirty little secret?

I've been dating a guy since May. He is a bit of a commitment phobe and we have had rough patches but worked through them. He is back at full court press :) He has a realtive in from another country and I have met that relative but no others. In fact I think he is hiding the fact that he is seeing anyone from his family. Now keep in mind we are in our 30's and he has never been married so his family is chomping at the bit to marry him off which would make a guy gun shy I think. He comes from a huge Italian family and his Mother is always telling him she wants him to marry before she dies and she is afraid he will be ALONE (LOL). So I can see the avoidance. But I am starting to feel like a dirty little secret. If his family calls him while I am around he avoids saying anyone is with him... a NO, he is not married... Aside from one relative, I haven't met anyone.... should I feel worried? Any advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:31 AM on Dec. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Why don't you ask him why you haven't met the rest of his family? I get the whole Italian family thing - my dad is Italian. And yes, they do take their marriage crap seriously. Maybe he doesn't want to introduce you unless he's sure you're "the one". Italian mothers can be a little insane (I dated a few Italians back in the day...I couldn't handle the family crap...one mother loved me and wanted her son to marry me and the other mother hated me and wouldn't talk to me because I didn't speak Italian! Doh lol).

    Ask him...it's the only way you're going to know for sure what his reason is.
    sgtdemanda

    Answer by sgtdemanda at 1:07 AM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • How do you know he isn't married? Seems really odd he is hiding you. I would do a background check and check with public records for a marriage license. I wouldn't trust a man that would not acknowledge I exist to his family. Shows he either isn't that into you or he has someone else they all know and you are in fact a dirty little secret.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 AM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • Ok, IM not trying to be mean hun. But you said it your self. In so many words. I would start to QUESTION a few things. Since he is not marryed, Then is he embarressed to let you meet them? Or dose he think they will say something negative about you? I would also want to know why? And if you dont get a GOOD reason. Then Maybe, You should look at this relashionship in a different light. No one should be or feel like they are someones DIRTY LITTLE SECRET. And I dont think its fear what he is doing . You may think he is just shy, But the truth is, 90% of men when they are with someone who they are really into, THey want the whole family and all the friends to meet her. I dated a guy once he was always taken me to meet everyone he knew, It was so bad that I felt like some dam Brand New Toy or something that he JUST had to show off. And A True good man would do that with you also. So Ask him what the hell is going on. And Demand
    MOMofTwo_99_00

    Answer by MOMofTwo_99_00 at 3:26 AM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • If he 's not interested in committment, why are you still hanging around? That should be the first sign that this guy is not looking to be married, and it doesn't matter what about the rest.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:02 PM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • My fiance and I have been together for 5 yrs and he did the same thing to me at first. I was pissed... I thought he was trying to hide me from his family, he was embarrassed of me, etc. .... but I found out very quickly that it wasn't me he was worried about ... it was THEM. He knew his family was crazy (seriously) and he was afraid that THEY would embarrass him and that I wouldn't want to be with him if I knew what his family was like. So maybe that's your guys problem. LoL
    JenMarie2007

    Answer by JenMarie2007 at 11:24 PM on Dec. 26, 2009

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