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Advice Plz........

I have a 16 yr old son who is quite a big boy he is a bully to my other children. If they dont do what he wants he hits on them, hes always screaming yelling cussing threatening you name his father was an abusiver man but we are not in that situation no more i beg and plead with him please dont act like this he threatens me also he is biggerthan me and knows if he wanted he could hurt me he overpowers me if he dont get his way he threatens to bust my things such as computer vehicle tires windows i have caled the police on him and they acted as if I was stupid for calling them its not that I cant controll my children i just cant controll him he makes me feel horrible all the time i just dont know what to do I feel i am in an abusive situation once again help please

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 AM on Dec. 26, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (8)
  • If you cant handle your kid then you need to send him to a boot camp or something. Behavior modification
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • Perhaps try putting him in a youth home or camp? millitary school?

    If he hits you or the other children or breaks/damages property..call the cops. he is 16 and needs to learn that his actions have consequences and that you will not take it from him. That he has to respect ppl.

    He is old enough that he knows better and doesn't need to be coddled....IMO i would say tough love is the only option for this type of situation.

    Also how old was he when you were able to leave the abusive situation you were in? It could have effected him developmentally and he needs both counseling and discipline...thats why i suggested a youth camp or military school

    so sorry for you situation and wish you all the luck
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 2:17 AM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • Could he have some mental illness that causes over-aggression? I would have him see a psychiatrist not a psychologist in case he needs medication modification. That behavior isn't normal and make be psychological. The therapist will also be able to give you recommendations as well. Good luck.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 2:20 AM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • One thing I have learned is that men are full of testosterone. As they hit teen yrs, they become aggressive, just like girls get hormonal. It sounds like he has learned that physical power has given him dominace of the entire house. I woud put my foot down. Lay out the rules. If he hits you or the children, I woud call the cops right there and then. Have him removed from the house and jailed for assult. Someone needs to show him for every action there is a reaction and that you are the boss in that house. Good luck!
    momsbreak5654

    Answer by momsbreak5654 at 5:30 AM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • Your son needs therapy, now; you and all of your children need family therapy to help heal and break the cycle of violence.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:26 AM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • I agree maybe your son needs to see someone, who can help him through this. After you have him checked out. get the help he needs, or if there's nothing wrong then yes send him away to boot camp,or military school. or call the cops and have him pay for his actions in a juvi home. And maybe he'll learn something out in one of those places.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 10:12 AM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • Well I don't know why your police haven't done anything. Call them again, when there is something going on. It is a domestic altercation no matter who it involves. Talk to the superintendent or principal of his school if he is still attending and see what they can do to help. Most have a no tolerance policy on bullying. Talk to the parents of his "victims" and plead with them to press charges for the assault and then allow him to face the consequences without helping him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • If he grew up witnessing that type of behavior than he is at a greater risk to repeat it. Have you tried counseling? He could have some serious issues stemming from the abuse he witnessed. If counseling doesn't or hasn't helped, than boot camp may be the way to go. Also, you could look up if they have programs in your area where they go to a class or something and get schooled on where they are going to end up if they don't change their behavior!!!
    tishalb

    Answer by tishalb at 5:19 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

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