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children being too dependent?

my friend complains that her child is so dependent and doesn't do things on her own, but is cosleeping at 4, still breastfeeding, and practically does everyhting for her, does anyone else see the problem here, and really who is more dependent on who?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Dec. 26, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (12)
  • She may not realize that she is creating that dependency.
    CuteandCurvy

    Answer by CuteandCurvy at 9:38 PM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • you can disagree all you want, but you have only one shot at being a child, and they should be able to rely solely on their parents to provide for their needs, happiness, and comfort as long as they can.

    i see no issue here, it is a self correcting situation that will be absolved when the child enters school.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:45 PM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • BF'G A 4 YR OLD? R U KIDDING??? That is just nasty!! I hope I am reading this wrong.
    Tiffany237

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 10:40 PM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • I agree with you. While I see no problem with a child being attached to their parent...their needs to be a healthy boundary between caring for that child and their needs, but also teaching them to be independent, and a responsible person. By co-sleeping with her child, continuing to breastfeed (kind of gross at 4 years old in my opinion), and doing EVERYTHING for her child, she is causing that child to be completely dependent on her because she has not taught her to do anything for herself. I mean its simple...if you never teach your child how to do something on their own, they are going to rely on YOU to do it for them because they don't know how. Period. If she wants to continue on the path she is on, than she shouldn't complain that her child is dependent.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Dec. 26, 2009

  • Honestly I see nothing wrong with the co-sleeping and breastfeeding. Yes some children will breastfeed till they start losing their MILK teeth. The Bfing and co sleeping are comfort things and have nothing to do with the child being able to do things for themselves.
    anklebitr

    Answer by anklebitr at 12:08 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • It isn't abuse. It isn't your kid. It isn't your problem.

    Why so concerned over someone else losing a little sleep and their child doing what was normal for even anglos until the late 19th century (and still is normal in most civilizations on this earth)? I guess because she had the gall to complain to a "caring friend" ?? Like you never complain about your kids or even exaggerate a little about it when you're having a bad day?

    Maybe we could turn it around on you. What do YOU do that isn't perfect according to you? Ever heard of the saying, don't throw rocks from inside a glass house?
    JamesAndMe

    Answer by JamesAndMe at 11:59 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding and cosleeping in this case. The doing everything for her, yes. By staying close thru bfing, cosleeping, etc, she is building trust into her child so she can be independent and confident. But doing everything for her, no. Kids that age need to do things on their own and receive praise. Most kids want to do things on their own.
    threeeunder3

    Answer by threeeunder3 at 12:43 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • u can build trust with ur kids by being their for them, but cosleeping and bf at 4 isn't doing anything but making urself their security blanket and u don't need to be babied at 4, ppl wonder why their kids turn out the way they do and aren't ready for real world.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • I'm sorry anon 8:41, but do some research one extended breastfeeding. It has nothig to do with making a child insecure into adulthood. In fact, it's just the opposite.
    threeeunder3

    Answer by threeeunder3 at 9:26 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  •  Anon 8:41  urself their security blanket and u don't need to be babied at 4, ppl wonder why their kids turn out the way they do and aren't ready for real world.     


    Because we all know that at five years old our kids are suppose to be going out and getting jobs.    Please anon enlighten us with some studies that follow children from birth to high school/ college showing how extended breastfeeding and cosleeping makes them more needy and not 'ready for the real world."  

    anklebitr

    Answer by anklebitr at 10:22 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

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