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Innapropriate behavior from a 49 yo man? Why am I the only one who cares?

We'll call him Dave. Dave has an 18 yo daughter of his own who really doesn't have much to do with him. He lives by us and is friends with one of our friends. I always liked him, thought he was a really cool guy. I was dissapointed to see him constantly hanging on their 22 yo daughter while she was home visiting. He has known her since she was 12! It's his friends kid! They even said they think they did something!! Everytime I see him he's always hanging on the 18 yo girls, rubbing their shoulders, hugging excessivley, saying sexual things to them here and there. Just really touchy feely. The girls have complained to me in private about this behavior yet they allow it. It's just creepy and I don't go over there much anymore. Am I reading too much into this or am I dead on! My husband says I'm over reacting, I think there's something horribly wrong with this picture.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Dec. 27, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • If the girls grew up around him, they might still see him as an authority figure, and not really feel like they have the ability to say no or reject his advances. It's not "illegal" since they're over 18, but that doesn't mean it's not abusive or creepy. If it were me, I would talk to the girls and tell them that if they do feel uncomfortable they have the right to speak up and that he is the weird one. I know from experience that being in that position, it's easy to talk yourself into thinking you're imagining things or that you're the one with the problem. They might just need someone to tell them they see how weird it is.
    MamaSueCongdon

    Answer by MamaSueCongdon at 4:52 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Meh, kind of gross, but 18 year olds aren't children and they can say no all they want. Any forcible behavior, then of course it's wrong. Those girls are all grown up, and perfectly able to ask him not to hang on them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Yeah, but the really creepy part is it's his best friends daughter. Feeling her up right in front of them in their own house. It pissed them off pretty bad, because he's watched her grow up. His kids are the same age and they were in school programs together. It just seems weird. I guess you had to be there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • I think they are uncomfortable, and both of the other girls are very mousy, low self esteem, don't want to hurt anyone's feelings even if they violate their personal space. I can tell they are uncomfortable, but I don't understand why they aren't saying something to him. They tell me about it all the time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Yeah he is a pig, and as for the girls they might be uncomfortable with the whole situation but the attention from a man makes them feel good, he is sick pig that's taking advantage of there feelings.
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 1:01 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • How can the girls complain and still allow the behavior? They are old enough to open their mouths and say stop or they can make every effort to not be around him so they are not in situations that make them vulnerable. If they don't feel comfortable confronting him and they have told another adult, the adult needs to be their advocate.
    NewJoyOn1308

    Answer by NewJoyOn1308 at 1:25 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • They live in the home. He goes over there to hang out with the parents. They really don't have a choice to be away from them. Last time someone said something about it they got accused of being dramatic.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Well the adults would feel horrible if something bad happened to those girls and they didn't respond when someone tried to tell them.
    NewJoyOn1308

    Answer by NewJoyOn1308 at 1:38 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Personally, I think you're dead on. There's a reason you keep thinking of this.

    Wish more people were like you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • I'm with Anon :48..it just isn't right and I wish people weren't so naive!
    ajtherad

    Answer by ajtherad at 1:56 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

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