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No phone calls, no nothing...MIL

My MIL is something else...my dd's 8th b-day was in Nov, she promised at least a card was coming in the mail, nothing, then we get a thanksgiving card that said how bad she hates her life and it is making her sick and she can not live like she is anymore. Now Christmas comes and goes, no phone call no nothing for her grandchild. I do not know what to tell my dd about her only living grandparent. I used to think it was better to have a nice grammy on the phone but now she is not even that. Is it best to just ignore this all together?

 
Noosa

Asked by Noosa at 2:36 AM on Dec. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,483 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • Yes, it's better to ignore it. I've been the child in this situation and I really wish I had a better image of my grandmother than the one she's given herself over the last two decades.
    tyheamma

    Answer by tyheamma at 2:39 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • You cannot make her be an active Grandmother. My Mom has been the same way for years and she has seven grandchildren who hardly know her as a result. I wish she were different and I've tried to make my kids understand but they never will.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 2:52 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • My only living grandmother has never been around. She cared more about her own life then most of her grand children (of course she had her favorites that she did everything for). MIL may be going through some things that she isn't willing/ready to talk about or something like that.

    As for having a grammy to talk to...no one ever said it had to be a blood relative. Maybe you have a neighbor, family friend or a special lady at church that would like to pass wisdom on to your daughter. I realize this may not be your situation but really the only thing DD really cares about is to have someone who cares about her and will listen and be attentive to her needs in the same way a grammy would.

    Who knows, in time, maybe MIL will let you in on what is going on, but don't push the subject.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • My MIL is the same way, no notheing *but i get chewed out wen i dont go over. for example, she got my husband 100$ PLUS in clothes for christmas. what does she get me?at the last minute, because i got her something, she hands me a dollar store perfume out of the bag. in fornt of everyone. sometimes its BETTER to not have bad influences in your life. you cant MAKE her call you, but i think i would give her a taste of her own medicine *My vindictive side peaking* my other, normal parts say to talk to her and/pr sit ehr down and tell her that if she cant at least be a constant, then dont even try. *my dads the same way*
    shortycmlb

    Answer by shortycmlb at 3:40 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • i agree with anon. my daughters godmomma *19 and im 18* so .... calls her at LEAST once a week *and my DD cant talk yet! lol* so id try to find someone who DOTES on her and like, kind of non-legally adopt them....
    shortycmlb

    Answer by shortycmlb at 3:41 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • My son's "Aunt" that is really a friend my moms age that I grew up knowing is a better grandparent than my dad, and I thank God for her. She really is fam to me and my son - it doesn't need to be blood.

    I know it sucks, good luck.
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:09 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Actually, the note you received from her sounds like a cry for help from your MIL. You, your husband and your dd should take time out once a week and call her just to talk about your week, school, jobs or nothing. Maybe she feels negelected and used. Does your husband call daily? Weekly? Monthly? Try it and see if she responds in kind. Can't hurt.
    momx3gx1b

    Answer by momx3gx1b at 10:06 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Yes, ignore it
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:14 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

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