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I feel let down. What should I do or say to make this better?

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and my daughter and I have been living with him for the past year. We have a great relationship, I feel that we comunicate well, we barely ever argue, and we really enjoy being around each other. That ALL changed when his brother (whos in the marines) comes home one leave. He is completely different, and acts unlike himself, (as we have mutual friends who he acts normally around) He will do anything his brother wants to do. They've even done things that he KNOWS are not acceptable like going out to a hotel and smoking pot. I feel left out, and unapreciated when Brother is here. They both take advantage of my generosity and we end up fighting a lot because of the problems Brother and I have. I understand he isnt around often i just dont understand why he has to act like he does. I have no problem with them going out or doing things seperate from me. I just need help, what do isaytohim

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sabree88

Asked by sabree88 at 3:41 AM on Dec. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I dont think that I'm being cliggy by wanting to be included sometimes. but anytime I bring it up to my bf he says that I'm overreacting, or being selfish because Brother isn't here often and they want to go out and do guy things together. Which I TOTALLY understand. I just don't know why i can NEVER be included in anythign that they do together, and why when they do things they have to do the things that he is usually so against. I just need a good way to bring this up to him without him feeling like I'm just against him spending time with his brother.
    sabree88

    Answer by sabree88 at 3:44 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Tell him what you just said, that he is being a different person and you don't like the person he is being. He needs to understand that he can't allow other people to dictate his behavior he needs to be solid. My husband used to have that problem around his parents. I pointed it out and he is working on it.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 3:59 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • you have to give him his space. I have 4 brothers and let me tell you...there is a strong bond between brothers. I think that your bf is trying to cling to the time spent with his brother in fear that he may be seeing him for the last time. If they go out and do things that you do not approve then its time for you to look the other way. You cant be a mother and a lover. I suggest when the brother comes in town you prepare yourself to be occupied with different activities. your bf will respect you more for RESPECTING his time with his brother. It's hard but you have to give him a break and let it ride out.

    sugahmamma

    Answer by sugahmamma at 4:32 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Let him read this question.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:36 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • I would get something to do for myself or maybe make a dinner and have the brother over. But to tell you the truth the bond is deep and if you have the dinner you will be involved if only for a night.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:06 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

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