Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

why do you behave as though you own him?

I read through these questions, and women say things like "I don't let him do that" or "I had to nip it in the bud in a hurry"... then they wonder WHY their SO is unhappy in their relationship.

how is it possible to treat relationship as though it is permanent, expecting another human to put up with your constant griping and controlling nature? it is not permanent, and requires compromise... why can you not understand that? *sigh*

I can not imagine living in fear and anger, and insecurity- that is a conscious decision that you make.

Answer Question
 
ObbyDobbie

Asked by ObbyDobbie at 11:27 AM on Dec. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 34 (70,074 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I know exactly where you are coming from, my cousin's wife is so much like that, she controls his every move, nags ALL the time. Overall she acts like his mother rather than his wife.
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 11:30 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Because not all relationships by a particular partner is as honorable as it seems. Sometimes that dishonor isn't known till a wife or partner's put years, literally, into what is believed to be a respectful honorable relationship. Cheating with sex or overt flirting isn't always a once or twice thing. My husband knows what he's done to us is wrong and it's his choice, but my conditions, that his behavior is specific for us to be together from now on. He can leave if he wants or screw around again but if he wants to stay in our marriage than his trust that he caused me to distrust, has repercussions not to make him squirm as payback but in order for us to maybe become better. With my husband it's a choice he made to be with another woman while I honored him and it's a choice he's making for that to not happen again.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 11:34 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • It's a 50/50 deal. I agree some women do act like its "all about them". I know some like that & its no surprise to me that their miserable husbands look for no-strings companionship outside of the "marriage" (i put that in quote because frankly, yeah marriage is for both people not just the woman) Some act like the man should do everything for them while they do minimal for the man. Some men do try really hard to do what a woman wants but because they dont do it "exactly" right or they forget something they woman treats them like a 2 yr old.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Agreed.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:55 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • In a relationship I can only control my behavior the SO or DH is not my child and he had friends before I met him he had a life before I was involved why should that change after. I am who I am and would not like someone to say do this or do that. My brothers wife is that way he is only allowed to go out when she says and if she says no she better not have to say it a second time. no he is not my child and 50/50 works here.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:42 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • its called co-dependancy. i do it too, though I'm trying to stop... all i can do is voice my opinions and concerns- if i try to control I'll just resent and be resented.
    Hali_Taylor

    Answer by Hali_Taylor at 1:47 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • I don't let him disrespect me, and that's not controlling IMO. He can do as he pleases as long as it does not consist of sneaking, lying or doing something he knows is against his wife. I also feel I am to do the same for him. He does those things, yes he will get bitched at, because that's selfish....and it's not all about him. I believe we should always make it a priority to consider the other spouse in everything we do, and if we purposely do something that is wrong to them, then why aren't they entitled to have a problem with it? Don't do the crime, if you can't handle the consequences.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • I can only control me, not him. If I do something that hurts him, I expect him to react to it. Just as if he does something he knows hurts me, he knows it will cause a reaction.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • there is a certain level of respect that must be reached and maintained in a marriage. If a husband is disrespecting his wife, then she has the right to step and say something
    HaydensMommy007

    Answer by HaydensMommy007 at 3:33 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN