Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Don't people think that's hurtful? (Divorce)

My husband and I just got divorced and it seems like quite a few of my CLOSE friends just don't understand. One told me she invited my ex-husband over for dinner because they "felt sorry for him" --HE kicked ME (and our son) OUT! Then a few of my other friends say stuff like "I kinda got a sense things might not be right." or stuff like that--don't they know that doesn't help? That just means they KNEW I had made a stupid mistake by marrying him and never said anything. That's like saying they KNEW my marriage was headed for disaster and they never said anything. That is NOT comforting to know!

Answer Question

Asked by EBeauty03 at 8:23 PM on Dec. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Yeah I got those too. Even the freakin pastor said that to my grandmother! wtf! Everyone said that. But what they didn't expect was for us to work things out and now our marriage is stronger than ever. "Ha" to them!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • If your friends would have told you not to marry him, before you married him, would you have listened to them and not married him?

    Answer by louise2 at 8:48 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • I think things like that are said out of fear that it could happen to them or relief that so far it hasn't happened to them. Just concentrate on healing your self per time of need. I'm in rough times now with my husband. still. Things are a little bit better when I'm upset but oncentrate on then, emotionally, what do I need, instead of being anxious 24/7 about the future. Concentrating in my most emotional times on now and what's right what's good for me, my kids helps my, our future of my husband and I whereever we end up.

    Maybe listen to Kelly Clarkson's song. I find that soothing and helpful to me. One of us is going and it's me growing. Maybe my husband will grow with me or he won't and I'll have to go. Blessings for your found strength mommy and prayers to you that it remains in your heart that you know you've made a right decision for better.

    Answer by lfl at 8:49 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Would you have listened or even appreciated them telling you that your marriage was going down the tube? You have to make your own life's journey. You made a choice. It wasn't with the right guy. Don't blame them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Yes, of course those are hurtful things for "friends" to say and/or do after your divorce. It doesn't sound like they were really your friends to begin with.

    Answer by lowencope at 9:25 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • why are YOUR friends inviting your ex over for dinner. sounds like more then feeling sorry for me.. real friends take your side and stay your friend after the divorce.. and everyone says they saw it comming when people don't work out because we tell our friends to much of our dirty laundry. if your friends tell you things like that tell them that it hurts and you don't appriciate it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Truthfully, Divorce SUX to all involved no matter who initiatedit!!! You have a child together so eventually you 2 will figure out how to make it work despite not being married and then you will have to figure out how to make it work when step parents become involved. Don't get too many feelings hurt probably your friends are struggling on how to deal with 2 people individually instead of another couple. give it time.....Julie


    Answer by mom2priceboys at 11:01 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.