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Would this annoy you?

My family and I went over to my sister's house this weekend. The WHOLE time we were there, she is cleaning up after us. It's so annoying. She doesn't even give me a chance to clean up. She got all huffy, because I forgot to take my shoes off and tracked mud through her living room. She kept bitching about how we stunk like cigarettes. WELL WE SMOKE. Our children (toddlers) were playing with her child's toys and she kept organizing their toys like they're not just going to get messed up again in 5 minutes. Plus, she kept telling my kid "No" and "get down" and "give that back." My kid is a bit hyper and does try climbing the baby gates, standing on furniture and is a bit of a toy thief, but what kid isn't?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Dec. 27, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • her house, her rules. I'd be annoyed as a non smoker if someone came into my house and stunk it up too...

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 9:32 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Her house, her rules. You all could have just left since it bothered you so much. I'd get huffy too if mud was tracked onto my carpet - did you offer to have it cleaned? She knows you smoke, she should have expected that stink. Some parents don't like toys scattered about. She should have been more tactful, like saying, "I know you're having so much fun, but let's choose the toys you want to play with and leave the rest alone." Or something like that. As for speaking up to your kids, she should have asked you to keep them in control.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Yes but it sounds like she's controling what she can in her house. Sometimes that's all a mother has and they obsess on it. If you're a nice guest and make an effort while at her home to play by her rules, she shouldn't behave like that. I'd stay away for a while.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • I can understand how it hurt your feelings. And yes it is annoying, not to mention rude to make guests (even if they are family) feel so completely unwelcome and uncomfortable. I think that if you have a good relationship otherwise, I would point that out to her. Or if you are passive aggressive like me, just stop going over there and when she asks why then explain it in a matter of fact way.

    On your end of things (not knowing how old your kids are) explain to them the "rules" at their Aunt's house. Rules that you and your sister have talked about beforehand. Teach your children to share (as age appropriate) and not to let them climb on the furniture at all. Those are things that are labeled bad guest behavior and really should not be allowed no matter what age the child is. Yes, they may try anyway, but correcting it now, saves you a lot of struggle later.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • She shouldn't have invited you if it would be such an annoyance to her and I would not have felt comfortable in her home. I'd say that's about the last visit.

    Answer by gramsmom at 9:34 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • get over it

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:36 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • We forget that when we clean, straighten, organize and get all looking just right for an occassion that the effect is fleeting at best. She probably worked hard to get her house so she felt it was "perfect" for guest. She forgot that it doesn't stay "perfect" long. A house full of kids and adults gets messy. If she wants her house to be "perfect", she can't have people over. If she wants you to see it that way, she has to accept the fact it will only be for a brief moment. Keeping things all neat when people are over is a bit rude, but you have to be willing to help her. She is family. Dive right in and respect what she is trying to do. Make sure you are making your child behave "like company" and not being relaxed like you would at home. It helps both her and the child.

    Answer by jesse123456 at 9:38 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • It would have annoyed me, yes, but I would have just brushed it off and let her say and do what she wants.
    On the other hand, if it were my home, I would be annoyed if people tracked mud on my carpet and came in stinking like cigarette smoke.
    BUT, she could have eased up a bit and enjoyed your company instead of cleaning up every second and being controlling of the kids and their toys. There is nothing wrong with leaving little things to sit until later.
    I would just stay at a hotel next time or keep my visit to a minimum. When you go to her home, spray yourself with FeBreeze before ringing her doorbell and take your shoes off once inside.

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 9:39 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Next time you gather at her house tell her that any toys that left out is hard for a visiting child of a young age to understand not to play with it, ask her to put toys not for public play into another room for safe keeping. As far as smoking - I'm a non smoker and I just hate the smell of smoke myself. hardcore smokers do carry that odor with them all over even in breath. Try getting a coat washed and put into a closet where other smoke free coats are and wear that one in her home. That way less for her to complain about. And about tracking mud in her house just say yeah she was right it was dumb of you to do that. And next time take off your shoes at the door.

    If your kids the most rowdy between yours and hers then try gathering only in public playplaces where there's a lot of room to roam.

    Answer by lfl at 9:44 PM on Dec. 27, 2009

  • Sounds like she is stressed out. Try to have the party at your house.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 11:02 PM on Dec. 27, 2009