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how many of you have children under six months and let them cry insteading of holding them all the time.

My two month old daughter has gotten spoiled over the holidays by being picked up all the time while she was awake. And now that the holidays are over I am trying to get her back to where I can lay her down again or put her in her swing again and she will be happy instead of needing to be held all the time. so after she has been fed and changed and I have played with her for a little bit I lay her down on the bed beside me and if she starts crying I let her cry for awhile. Well I was talking to my sister and apparently I am neglecting my daughter because I am not picking her up when she cries. And I have to always hold her when she cries until she is six months. am I wrong in wanting her to be the way she was before the holidays?

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Asked by jessiesosore at 10:57 AM on Dec. 28, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (30)
  • I don't know! We all parent so differently. And babies change SO much the first few months. It could be a stage she is going through and not just being held all the time. Plus, being passed around could have stressed her and now she just wants to be with you!! One of my kids was like that - desperate for mommy after being arpund lots of other people. There are times that my babies cried and didn't get picked up. Our fourth child is only 4 weeks and sometimes he is left to cry. I don't think there can be a "rule" for when you let them cry. Sometimes you have to take care of something else, sometimes you need a break from holding an unhappy baby, sometimes baby needs to learn you can wait 30 seconds! Follow your instincts but realize your little one may not go back to the way things were before!

    Answer by micheledo at 11:07 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • More than 5 minutes I say pick them up, I know that many people say cry it out, but they usually cry for a reason, I don't think 5 minutes will hurt,,,,just my opinion!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:08 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • It's not wrong to want things to be easier. Babies change. Letting her cio won't turn her back itno the baby she was before. She may have changed even if she wasn't held a lot during the holidays.

    You can't spoil a 2 month old baby. Babies need to be held. Crying is their way of letting you know that they need something. CIO is not good for baby's development and it can be dangerous. Babies don't learn to be better babies by cio. They learn their needs aren't going to be met.

    A sling or baby carrier can keep your baby close and meet baby's need and allow you to do the things you want to do. Women throughout history have used baby carriers. There are many different kinds to choose from or you can make your own.


    Answer by Gailll at 11:10 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I never let my son cry.. fuss a bit if I was trying to take a shower -- sure -- but if he started crying I'd stop as soon as the soap was rinsed off and get out and get him before I even got dressed or anything. It is neglectful to do what you are doing.. you're trying to teach your baby that you aren't always going to be there to soothe her when she's upset. That's wrong IMO because you should be trying to teach her the opposite so she gets a secure bond with you. Really, once your baby starts moving on her own (7-10 months) she will wriggle her way out of your arms and want to explore and then you won't have to hold her constantly anymore. But until your baby initiates the freedom from you, you should treat her like part of yourself - get a sling! If you don't, you may make yourself a really clingy baby who screams and cries every time you put her down well into toddlerhood. I've seen it happen with cousins.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Are you wrong for wanting it? No, but I don't think I could let one that young just cry like that. When they are little and they cry it's always for a reason. She's probably crying more from having gotten overwhelmed than from getting "spoiled". She probably just got overwhelmed over the holidays with all the different stuff and now she is coming down from that and wants mom to hold her more for comfort. It might take a bit for her to get back to her "normal" but odds are good that she will find it again without you just letting her cry.

    Answer by Krysden at 11:13 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • You can't spoil a 2 month old from holding them - no matter who told you that ! You need to do some reading on how their brain changes and how babies develop and how they NEED comfort and love right now. walking away for a couple minutes when you are frustrated is different, but letting them cry when they need something is wrong! my son had colic for 6 months, so by all means, I understand its hard to listen to a crying baby.. but its our JOB to care and hold and raise these little ones!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:14 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • 5 minuets rule here too! If my DD cries for more than 5 minutes I do go pick her up and do the usual - diaper, bottle??? Sometimes they just need a snuggle. Mine is almost 8 months now and cries everytime I leave the room - this too will pass I am sure!

    Answer by chefronswife at 11:14 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • "Plus, being passed around could have stressed her and now she just wants to be with you!! One of my kids was like that - desperate for mommy after being arpund lots of other people."

    That is what I was trying to say....micheledo said it better though. (=

    Answer by Krysden at 11:16 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Your sister was just trying to explain baby's needs and not really trying to make you feel bad. Baby relies on you for everything and is not capable of manipulation at this point. A cry is the only way they have of communicating they need something. You aren't wrong in your parenting at all. It is perfectly fine to let them cry a little. Try swaddling baby with a blanket before putting her in a swing or laying her down. Comfort verbally first, but if that doesn't work go ahead and hold her for awhile. After all you will be surprised at how fast they grow and eventually you won't be able to holdthemeven if you wanted to. Baby needs to learn to trust you which is why your sister said hold her all you can for now. As long as you meet baby's need within reasonable time it's ok for her to cry while you use the bathroom or something. You can't hold her ALL the time.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 11:16 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • That is NOT being spoiled. 2 month old can't be spoiled. The baby is probably nervous about all the attention and scared NOT SPOILED. Take a parenting class and learn about how to be a mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

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