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i called DCF

i made a post last week about suspecting my husbands little brother of molesting my son. my brother in law is 10 years old and my son is 4 years old. my son told me when he was about 2 years old that his uncle touched his pee pee. i didnt really know how to handle it or what to do so i told my husband and he talked to the 10 year old and his mother. we all decided to keep them away from eachother. well here we are over a year later and my son never told me that again up until last week, tuesday to be exact. he said "such and such touched my pee pee" now i always question him when he comes back from being with anyone and he always said no one touched him up until last week. so to make a long story short i called DCF now the whole family is torn apart. i feel horrible but i had to do what i thought was right. any thoughts questions or concerns please reply. i need to talk about this. i feel like my life is shattered.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Dec. 28, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (25)
  • Honey - You did the right thing. As a mother it is your NUMBER ONE PRIORITY to protect your child the best that you can. I am sorry that this has happend to you and your family. I would have a hard time not killing the person who did this!

    Answer by chefronswife at 11:12 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • You did the right thing. They will get to the bottom of it. Your son needs to be protected. Touching is not harmless fun. The older brother needs to know that not to mention someone probably molested the older brother. So that will get discovered as well.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:12 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • so you called dcf on you brother in laws mother? right? if so then i think you were completely right, because if this boy who is only 10 is touching you son, its most likely a sign that someone has molested him, and dcf would be able to get him help and hopefully away from anyone that is still doing this to him.

    Like chefronswife said it is your number one priority to protect your son. I know this must not be easy but i believe you did the right thing.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 11:15 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Wow, let me say that my DS told me a boy at his school touched his pee pee,,,long story short it didn't happen, the end result was he saw something on TV that he shouldn't have seen. Your hubby's brother is now 10? Did the social worker get to the bottom of what happened or not? Please don't beat yourself up,,,,you were protecting your kiddo,,,was DS alone with the brother? You didn't do anything wrong, and I think a family meeting is in order,,you, hubby and his mom and dad! If there is any truth to this at all your BIL needs help now, before he gets any older! I hope it works out for you! I am curious to know if there is a Step Dad at the home? You may have an answer in that, little boys may show each other their privates,,,like playing doctor, but molestation is learned from some where,,,might be a place to start, I am so sorry your going through this! God Bless you!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:15 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Never doubt your gut feeling it comes to your children. Seriously, if he is your world ( which i'm sure he is ) don't ever go against your gut feeling. Even if you are wrong, its not worth it...especially in a case like that. You did the right thing, you didn't get super angry go out and shot the piece of crap for doing it. You sat down and talked about it, like an adult should do before makings some major decision. Be proud of your self. Hope everything works out for you.

    Answer by sexy_can_i at 11:17 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • oops i read it wrong, i didn't see that you said he was only 10, i take back the shooting the piece of crap lol... how about lets say you did get angry and beat that little boys ass. sorry, i misread what you wrote!

    Answer by sexy_can_i at 11:19 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • It may have been better to handle it another way. Instead of calling the authorities another first step that can be to take the child to a doctor to see if the doctor thinks anything happened. It's too late for that now.

    Asking a young child questions about other people touching their body on a frequent or routine basis can lead to the child giving the mother the answer they think the mother is looking for. There is a very good chance that nothing happened or that it wasn't molestation.

    If the people at DCF where you live are well trained then they would be able to handle the investigation with minimal trauma to all involved. Usually they aren't well trained and it is traumatic for everyone involved. It will be very difficult for your son and they may insist on questioning him without you present. You may have little power over what happens now.

    Best wishes to your family during this difficult time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • thank you for your responses. yes we believe that the 10 year old is being molested by the step dad. we were told that the 10 year old boy is made to take showers with the step dad, and when the mother was confronted about this she said.. the step dad was just being nice to him, showing him extra attention. i thought that was absurd and my instinct told me that the 10 year old is being molested so i called DCF and told them everything i know. i am just scared and sad about it all.
    but like kimigogo said, i guess i fear what if its not true but my gutt tells me it is esp when i was told about the 10 year old showering with the step dad.
    basically the whole family is against me and my husband now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • i will not let my child be questioned without me present. i will have to leave it in Gods hands now becuase i refused to sweep this under the rug and at the end of the day, i dont care what anyone thinks about it. i feel that the epidemic of child molestation is always hidden and covered and therefore allowed to go on for years and i refused to let that happen to my child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • sexycanI: beating that 10 year old little boys ass will accomplish NOTHING. It is pretty obvious that someone is doing something to him and instead of beating his ass (which would be child abuse), he needs to get the help he deserves. Beating someone, shooting someone accomplishes nothing, oh wait, it will put you in prison.

    OP: You did the right thing, your BIL will be protected as well as your son. You have done what is necessary to protect 2 innocent children. You did nothing wrong, the sick bastard of a stepfather did. Your BIL will thank you someday. Good for you.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:38 AM on Dec. 28, 2009

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