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I work just as hard as my husband does, How can I get him to start helping around in the house?

I'm pregnant, and I work fulltime just like my husband, but he won't help one bit until I nag him day after day to do some cleaning around the house. How can I get him to start participating in housework without him getting grouchy?

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Asked by emly40 at 1:20 PM on Jun. 25, 2008 in Home & Garden

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Answers (9)
  • I started my husband with something he couldn't ignore "THE KIDS". I gave him the responsibility of giving the kids a bath.

    Answer by krazeerosie at 1:25 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • Have you tried sitting down and telling him how you feel? I'd say go on strike but that never helps me. I just ask nicely.

    Answer by cdogdevon at 1:33 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • Tell him you aren't able to do this on your own so you are going to hire help. That worked for me because it gave my husband a choice to help or hire...Of course, he started to help because he just couldn't stand the idea of paying someone to do what we could do ourselves. The point is, you can't do it alone anymore so there needs to be a change. I tell my husband now, if I need to work a strenuous job (I currently work in the school district), the first thing I will do is hire a housekeeper, and that isn't negotiable. My sanity is more important than the money.

    Answer by manna1qd at 2:01 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • We worked our way all the way threw the 1s and them 2s and then started with not so thick regular foods which worked much better than the baby foods. Just make sure there is no large clumps and mash things with water.

    Answer by Wirelessbound at 3:08 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • I'd let him pick up after himself. When you are expecting, it is so hard to keep up. Especially when you just want (and need) to rest. Stop doing his laundry, leave his socks in the middle of the floor. If you have to cut down on the work, start with his.

    Answer by drowninginboys at 3:13 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • I talk to my guy and give him a choice -- do you want to clean up the kitchen (dishes included) or give the kids a bath and ready for bed -- one example. We compromised on dinner, we both work, he has weird hours though, so we agreed that the first one home starts dinner. It was too hard for me just to do it especially the days he got home before me and was just sitting around doing nothing.

    Answer by AmoMisBebes at 3:20 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • You might try a chore chart. Put rows on it for ALL family members, columns for every task that needs to be done. Ask him to help you by telling you everything he does. Add those things to the chart.
    I know the kids probably won't have tasks yet but even a 3 year old can make their bed, help clear the table, put their toys away.
    Once you have assigned the things only you can do to your list and only the things he can do to your list, ask him to help you figure out which of you should do the things that are left. Then DON'T do anything on his list. Let the dishes pile up, the lawn go uncut, etc. If you do his things for him (or worse, re-do them so they are "right"), he will stop helping.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 6:22 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • Men are actually quite simple. Once you give him what he wants, he will do what you want. Just find out what he needs from you. Usually if men are happy in their marriage and feel appreciated they will do whatever you ask. Trust me! Especially if you give them what they want in bed. My husband is the same way. But when it comes down to doing things outside, like yard work, which I love to do; if it get's bad enough I will do it myself. When I start to do it that's when he get's off his hiny and get's to it. He says I'm making him look bad because that's the "man's" job.

    Answer by AngelPuff1012 at 8:37 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • take a day off dont cook dont clean dont buy grocries or any of the normal things you do every day .if he doesnt notice on day one try day two. when he compains write a list of everything you do daily. then have him write a list . exchange list .you do his he does yours

    Answer by Daffney at 11:17 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

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