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mom in conflict with friend over comment said to a 4 year old

My friend was over lastnight. My son and her son our 4 years old. We both have total different parent styles. Her son was repeating hitting my son in the back that had a empty bookbag on it. Plus the were fighting over toys and things before this. My friend was on the computer and not attending to the any of these situations. After getting over the computer she came and asked my 4 year if he wanted them to leave. My son's reply was yes. She got her things together and let and never said a word to me or my husband. After she left I tried to call she didn't answer her phone. So I text her and asked why she didn't say anything when she left. I told her my son didn't know exactly what he was saying she says he did and I was rude for not correcting him. I asked why she asked him such a rude thing anyways and he remark was I distorted the situation and this is all my fault and I can never admit when things are my fault.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Dec. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • I think it is time to end the friendship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • The entire situation is ridiculous. It sounds like your friend has a lot of growing up to do. I personally wouldn't want my son playing with a child like that anyway.  I say let it be.  You don't need her or her bratty kid. 


    Answer by vnw1405 at 1:20 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I wouldn't worry about it, sounds like her son isn't a good influence on your child anyway. Maybe you should find someone new for a playmate.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 1:20 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Not necessary to have friends like that. That's really an unfair way to treat small children. You seem pretty unhappy. You don't have to be around people who make you unhappy. Stop talking to her.

    Answer by ecodani at 1:21 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Well, jeez, everybody knows if you ask a 4-year-old a question, he's going to give an honest answer, and if her kid was beating him up, and fighting with him about toys, why WOULDN'T he want them to leave? Diplomacy is not exactly a 4-year-old's trait, know what I mean?

    Personally, I think your friend acted like an immature child herself in this situation. I don't think this is your fault at all.

    Answer by Anouck at 1:22 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Better off gone! You don't need this as a model for your kiddo! We had a similar situation with T-ball, friends son wouldn't listen,,, and our DS followed suit,,,how embarassing when he was misbehaving and we corrected him, and his response is well so and so gets too. I think she can't admit that she is unsure how to discipline her kiddo! If you get together again, there I would state the rules upfront! It is not unusual for them to fight over toys and such, but NO hitting, name calling etc.... I think your son DID want the kid to leave--LOL!

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:22 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Yeah I agree. If shes going to throw a total fit like that thats so dumb. Your son is 4. 4 year olds say things like that sometimes. Just like you said, he didn't really know what he was saying. He was probably mad at the time. I'd be mad too and want someone to leave to if a little kid was beating on my back lol. Seriously though I think tell her she needs to apologize to you and your son for being so rude or your friendship is over.

    Answer by sexy_can_i at 1:22 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • She doesn't sound like a good friend. If she didn't want an honest answer she shouldn't have asked. She must have noticed something was wrong if she asked, in fact. She says he was rude and you were????? She was the rude one for not correcting her son and for not saying anything to you when she left.

    Answer by Bmat at 1:26 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I agree with everyone else, she sounds very immature to ask a 4 year old a question like that, then take it to heart. I'd say good riddance to the friendship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • From the writer..... we always get into little conflict of this nature. She always says I don't admit when I am wrong. I have no problem admitting when I am wrong, when I am wrong! I felt like the question to my 4 year old was not fair and then she expect me to correct him but what was I suppose to do tell me not to be honest when asked a question. If I said to leave that would be another story. But when I told her she was rude asking my 4 year old if he wanted them to leave that was rude! HER comment "I asked him something rude? WOW what a way to distort a situation you never think anything is in any way your fault!' I just wanted to know where am I at fault here. I just told her when she got over it to call me. She thinks she did nothing wrong! I am the one left wondering what I was SUPPOSE to do. I would NEVER put her in a situation like that!


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

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