Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I dont want to go in heavy populated places with my husband because of his problem...spin off from another question last week.

lastnite I was talking about going to the mall. Dh asked when are WE going. I jokingly told him I dont wanna go to the mall with him bcuz there are 2 many chicks there and we would divorce. He got upset. I said that becuz Dh has a problem with looking obsessively & repeatably at women. its like he cant help it. I told him it makes me uncomfortable when his quick glances turn into 4 and 5 glances or stares. he says its a man thing and it don't mean nothing. i say if it don't mean nothing then why keep doing it. i kno some of you will say whats the big deal, hes not dead blah blah, i dont have a problem with him glancing at something that may attract him but I cant stand when he keeps doing it without any regards to me being there, and to make it worse when a fine man comes around Dh quickly looks at me to see if i am gona look, i tell him not everybody is like him. He stayed mad the rest of the night and I still dont know why?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Dec. 28, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (11)
  • This never really bothered me with my DH cuz I trust him not to cheat on me, but if it really bothers you, then maybe you should give hima dose of his own medicine.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 2:08 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Sorry but you can't stop a man from looking at other women. My husband does all the time. Does it bother me? Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. But then I look at other men so I figure it's fair. You just need to be more secure with yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Sounds like you have a pretty bad trust issue in your marriage... Either you trust him and let it go, or you have reason not to trust him, and then you should leave.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 2:11 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Sorry but it's not a MAN thing. My SO never does it. I'm not saying he doesn't look at other women, I'm sure he does but he doesn't openly stare at them when we are together. I agree with a pp, give him a dose of his own medicine, do the same, then when he gets upset, tell him it's a woman thing and if he doensn't like it, think of how it makes you feel.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • OP here: its not a trust issue at all...i consider myself a very attractive woman as well...to me its more of a respect thing. I have enough respect for my DH to not make him feel uncomfortable in public by staring at other men. I see men all the time who stare or glance at me...and if they are with there girlfriends it makes me mad because I think that its rude and disrespectful. I told Dh when he;s not with me he can look all he wants to because I do too, but when im with him nobody else is worth looking at.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • So punch him the balls next time you catch him doing it. THat'll make him feel uncomfortable.
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 2:21 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I understand what you're saying about respect. I would feel stupid if I'm sitting beside my husband and another woman sees him gawking at her . . . what does that make me, chopped liver? What he's doing is disrespectful. Glancing is one thing, rubber necking is another thing completely. You may just have to turn the table on him.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 2:26 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Tell him It's a matter of respect. My husband doesn't gawk at women when he's with me because he respects me, and he mature enough to to let a nice looking lady pass without having to look.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Saying "It's a man thing" is a cop-out. My man doesn't do it, ever. I used to watch him, just to see, since my dad did it all the time and it drove my mom nuts. They are now divorced. It's fine, imo, to glance or look, we can't walk around with our eyes closed, but if it's a real problem, as it sounds like it is, then he's taking it too far and is choosing to use "It's a man thing" as an excuse. A real man wouldn't gawk at other women.

    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 3:21 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I'd be mad too. Sure, sometimes something catches your eye and you just have to look. But generally, a little restraint is all you need!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN