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I need help/ Regarding my mom(she is nuts)

This is going to be long. My other post, feel free to read it to understand where i am coming from
http://www.cafemom.com/answers/340322/Is_there_a_name_for_this_type_of_person_my_mom_is_out_of_control
My mom has no Health Insurance so there would be no way to get her medicated lol. My grandma just called to let me know that my mom yelled at her and told her to stay out of it because my grandma passed the phone to my mom to talk to my 5 yr old dd. The other day she also got mad at my Grandma and Uncle (who came down to visit for xmas) because he drove my grandma to the gas station and get coffee at starbucks. she got mad because he has a license and she doesnt. My moms license is suspended! My uncle and grandpa have both the same names but my uncle has his name on the insurance on the truck too. so he can drive it. my Grandma said my mom started to slam kitchen cabinet doors. cont.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Dec. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • talk crap, yell, scream and she closed her self in her room. since i was little she has been doing this. I am 26 now. she has thrown mugs across the room, yelled at my grandparents for driving down and saying hi. This was when my mom had her own house and my grandparents lived a hr away.my mom is always getting into fights with her brother & parents. I dont talk to my mom anymore because she called me Nuts, Im out of control and i need a break all because i told her why i had a c-section with my first born. she likes to control everyones lives. she got mad because i told her i wanted nobody at the birth of our 3rd baby next year. its only going to be to my kids, my midwife & husband. I am having a home birth and even if i didnt, i dont want her here during labor or on bonding time. i told her nicely to come down a few months later ands he got mad. if the attention is not geared towards her all hell breaks loose
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Cont again. My mom and grandparents all live together back home in Los Angeles. My mom has no boyfriend (who would want her? shes crazy) and has no money to get her own place or get health insurance. so what am i supposed to do? she can talk to my kids all she wants but i dont want nothing to do with her. My grandma said she is going to ruin my new year. my mom is diff CRAZY!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • well honestly i have a really super crazy mom too, so i know where your coming from. I think its stupid that the daughter acts more mature than the mom. I grew up basically raising my self, my mom is a big drinker so you know how far that gets ppl in life. Well i finally decided I just wasn t going to talk to her or anymore. I don't think you should let her be apart of your kid's life either until she decides she wants to get her stuff together. Maybe if she sees that no one wants to be around her when shes like that, she'll shape up. I dont know what to do about the medication part though, hopefully she can just do it on her own and with the help of family and friends. I think the best thing to do is to iscolate her for everyone. Except fo the ppl she lives with of course, just have them not help her out at all, or do anything for her. I haven't talked to my mom in over 2 years and would rather never talk to her again.
    sexy_can_i

    Answer by sexy_can_i at 2:13 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • you maybe able to get her health insurance through the state, and honestly if she is that out of control you can have her taken in for a evaluation and there are people there who will help her set up health insurance. it sounds like she has to get medicated in someway or the other. you have options one have her taken out of the home and observed in a hospital setting or two someone go to court to get the rights to make decisions on her behalf which would mean you could apply for benefits for her. if she is that crazy they have group homes that will take care of her and keep her and others safe and she will be able to collect SSI to help pay for it and anything else she needs.

    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:19 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • DH said as we were driving away from my Smother's home this Xmas: "Your mom isn't allowed at the birth." Totally unprompted.

    You are a significant and safe distance, LA to Washington St, more so than I am from my Smother. When you have the early signs of labor, become unavailable. Hubby too. Can you set your phone for her calls to go direct to voicemail?

    There are no laws that say you have to answer or return her calls. Here is a list of "can't talk now" escape phrases:

    1. I need to barf. Click.
    2. OMG, DD is doing XYZ. I have to go.
    3. I'm getting another call from the school. Call you back.
    4. I'm at the bank, no phones at the teller's window.
    5. It's 5 minutes til I was supposed to XYZ, I have to go.
    6. I couldn't answer. I was in the bathroom.
    7. I lost my phone charger. it's been dead for 5 days.
    8. DS flushed my phone. I just got a new one
    9. I muted the phone for nap time and forgot to tu
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 2:21 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • 3 ring circus-You mean like medical? I asked her if she was gonna get it before her and i got into a fight on early dec and she said she was but had to call. shes very lazy. she does work but as a real estate agent and hasnt sold a house since last summer. She also got breast cancer when i was in 6th grade. shes 47 now so in her early 30's. she has to get seen once a year for it but hasnt gone for 2 years my grandma said because she has no insurance. she used to work for hawaiian airlines and got fired due to being in late because of a boyfriend she had at the time. My grandpa or grandma drive her to work and back home. take her to the market etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Ecodani- Lol thanks. she doesnt call me, she knows i dont want to talk to her at all and if she wants to talk to my kids my grandma has to pass the phone and she has been. But yesterday my mom yelled at my grandma saying stay out of it. Stay out of what? the only time we talk is through email but that was to track a package for the kids presents. but thats it! yes we are far and she cant and wont just show up. because she has no license and cant rent a car. Unless there was some miracle where she sold a house and had tons of money to pay for a shuttle bus and show up. but im not going to tell nobody i had the baby until the baby is born so she doesnt know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Mine straightens up after about 2 weeks of the silent treatment. Then I get about 4 normal days out of her.

    Until she begins being a physical threat to herself or others (we're talking serious violent acts), there is nothing you can do. No one wants to lock up or sedate a "sweet old lady" like our smothers.

    You have to stop interacting with her. I will be your support person. Just PM me when you get the urge to share with her like she is normal and you have a healthy parent-child relationship. I'll talk you out of it.

    DH always takes my phone when she calls and tells her I'm cooking chicken and have messy hands. He also doesn't allow me to return her calls unless he is there to keep it short. Make yours remind you about self preservation.

    We have smothers who are not capable of meeting our rational expectations or maturity, kindness, and sanity. We deal with it.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 2:27 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • dude, you shouldnt let her talk to your kids.... shelter them from that. i had a crazy gma and i thank my mom still today from cutting off contact when i was 5, looking back, she would have done the same damage to me, that she did to my mom, because craziness and irrational thought are contagious. they are scary too. i think you should completely cut off contact until she has shown improvement, could her caregivers recognise the issue and put her into a mental health center, they do in and out patient. sometimes people have to work every day to get better. if she has no job she should be able to get free medical care=PA.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:52 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • AmaliaD- Im talking about my mom and grandma. she has no care givers. unless i got confused with what you meant. She has a job as a real estate agent but doesnt sell homes because well she has bad luck and the economy is bad. She has no Degree, never went to college. All she has known is working at the los angeles airport at airlines. she has no license because she made a wrong stop or something. it was taken away. she also got her scion taken away from a tow truck company because she could not pay for it. so she has no car, no license no money. the only money she gets is welfare or whatever it is called. i talked to my grandma again and she told me that she has told my mom to get state insurance but she wont do it. My mom can be lazy. she has one house she sold but its in escrow until she gets her part of the money.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

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