Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do so many people think love=presents?

I've seen so many posts since Christmas from moms complaining about grandparents not buying their kids presents for Christmas. Or the gift isn't good enough or the other grandkids got "better" gifts, so therefore, the grandparents must love them more. My mom wasn't able to get her grandkids anything but I didn't care. They got gifts from their dad and I, so I think they are going to be ok. Their grandpa on their dad's side didn't send anything for them but I don't doubt his love for them! I saw an answer that said this grandmother claims to love her grandkids but got them nothing for Christmas, so she must not really love them. WTH?! Do you get offended if your kids recive nothing from the grandparents?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Dec. 28, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (11)
  • I posted something like that, so who knows, you may be talking about me. And yes, I get offended. I know for a FACT she's gotten gifts for tons of people that aren't even related. Plus, this isn't just Christmas. This was his birth, his first birthday, his first Christmas, and now the second Christmas. And I know she can afford to send a little something, ANYTHING. Hell, even just a card would be nice. She didn't even call. So yeah, that offends me. I don't care if she doesn't send me or her son anything, but the grandson she's always gushing about? You bet your ass that annoys me.

    Answer by Anouck at 5:25 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Funny, I thought presents = guilt

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • All my son's grandparents are dead. I'd be happy if he could get a hug once in a while.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 5:26 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I have the opposite problem. My kids get way to many presents from their grandparents and other family that they don't get to open them all and play with them. The kids usually have 3 or 4 gifts that they never open because of that. They get overwhelmed then bored.


    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 5:28 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I'm with NotPanicking. My grandparents were all gone by the time I was 5. My kids are lucky they have their Greatgrandparents on my SO's side. So as long as my mom is still here on this earth, I'm happy with that. I'm just glad they still have their grandma, present or no.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I don't give material gifts to any of my nine grandchildren. I give the gift of my time. If they don't like that then sorry about that but so far none have complained to me about it. I believe in building memories. Anyone can buy them a toy they won't play with or remember or appreciate.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:29 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • My FIL was with his granddaughter for Christmas. My sons didn't receive anything from him. Do I care? No. He is still their grandfather and I won't hold it against him. My kids get plenty of gifts from their dad and I, they don't need more.


    Answer by nmmama09 at 5:31 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I should add that his mom has come down exactly twice since my son was born... So it's not like she's giving him the "gift of time", either. My parents both live in Europe, and they've seen him more than she has. She lives in Oregon, we live in California. It just feels like she's acting like the doting grandmother towards others, but doesn't pay HIM any attention at all.

    Answer by Anouck at 5:37 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • they've actually done studies that people have different ways of showing love, but they're often within certain catagories. and giving gifts is one of the ways they show love- I don't think that Gparents should have to buy a gift... but they should give something.

    Answer by Hali_Taylor at 5:50 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • For me, it's really not just the gift thing.... My parents, even though they live on the other side of the globe, are more involved in my son's life than my SO's mom. They call, inquire about him, ask for pictures, come visit as much as they can, etc etc. They did not send x-mas presents, because it's just not logical to do so from Europe. They did send money, but even if they hadn't, they just act like they CARE, if that makes sense. My SO's mom, on the other hand, never calls or e-mails. She'll respond about half of the time when I send her pictures or videos, and when she does, she just goes on and on about how wonderful he is and how much she misses him, but she'll never INITIATE anything, if that makes sense. I dunno, I'm just not feeling it from her. And neither is my SO, by the way, he's pissed at her for ignoring our son yet again. I don't think I'm going to send her any more pictures unless she asks for them first.

    Answer by Anouck at 6:18 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.