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TMI. Do you think it's possible for a man to NOT think about something/fantasize when.....

he looks at porn? My DH swears he doesn't. Well, he doesn't actually watch porn, porn, but there's this game site that has cartoons and stuff on it, and there's this one with a penis and vagina, and you can take your mouse and move the penis in to the vagina and out. It's a real picture, and I noticed ever time he gets on there, he goes back to it and plays with it, so obviously it does something to him. (Plus it makes moaning noises). I told him there isn't a man out there that doesn't think/fantasize, and he swears he doesn't at all. Do you agree with me or him? I think he's just afraid to tell me because I'm his wife.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Dec. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I don't know, maybe if a man's been exposed to lots of stuff in the past he gets desensitized, but then why does he keep playing the game? I think if it bothers you, he should respect that regardless.

    Answer by Adelicious at 6:20 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • LMAO! sorry, but thats just funny- something i would find entertaining as well, just for the giggle factor.

    as for fantasy, well, its human nature. most women fantasize as well, and there is nothing wrong with that- in fact, its a good thing, and to even act upon those fantasies (with your partner). it prevents monogamy from becoming stagnant, and enables a couple to explore one another in many, many gratifying ways.

    personally, i'm not offended by porn, for a number of reasons. including enjoying a little fantasy myself. if it bothers you that he would fantasize about another woman, or form of sexual gratification, maybe you should take the time to figure out why it is bothering you. most of the time it is a personal issue that is causing the problem, and has nothing to do with the partner. being a little open minded goes a long way, so does open communication.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 6:31 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • To PP: I don't know if that's entirely fair. Some people are ok with their partner fantasizing about someone else, and if that's ok with you, then fine. Some people feel that there is a sacred bond between two married people that should not be compromised. I think that belief should be respected.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Agreed PP! Obby was quite assuming. Not every man or woman fantasizes.

    Answer by DotYourTs at 7:01 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I agree with him... partially. I personally think looking at porn is incredibly disrespectful but there are plenty of men that don't look at porn OR fantasize about other women.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • my husband says he just looks to see whats new out there.. i think he is desensitized to it too.. he said he started watching at age 7.. now he just checks porn updates like checking email.. weird huh

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • i think some things would make you fantasize but not all things and i think this would be something that just doesn't to him. i mean i can look at porn and not get turned on what so ever but a rated r movie or steamy romance can sometimes bring me to fantasize or get horny. i wouldn't say he being dishonest just that your finding it hard to believe. maybe he needs more then just an image that doesn't lead to anything else.

    Answer by melody77 at 8:59 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I have no clue if that is possible for him but watching it long enough would excite even me thinking about how that would feel if it was being done to me. Woo Hoo!

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:17 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I think it's very possible that he doesn't fantasize while doing this. Men aren't as complicated as we try to make them out to be I think. He thinks the game is fun or funny. I think it's harmless. And even if he is fantasizing who cares? He obvisously is being open and honest with you about what he is doing so I don't think you need to make a big deal out of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:21 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Um, I'm not making a big deal about it. If I cared about him getting on there and playing the games/watching the videos, then he wouldn't be. I was just using that as an example.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

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