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To punish or not to punish?

My son WAS doing great with his potty training, according to his grandmother. She said he wasn't having any accidents in the middle of the night, was even getting up to go "pee potty" as we call it, washing his hands, etc. He was even doing fairly well with "poo potty," which had been difficult prior to his visit with her. He's still doing better with #1 and is in undies instead of pull-ups, but he refuses to go on his own to sit on the toilet when he has to go #2. Yesterday I smelled it and ran into his bedroom, he was in the adjacent bathroom sitting on the toilet - his overflowing underwear were on the floor beneath him. A lot of good it did to sit on the toilet AFTER the accident! Usually we catch him with just a little bit in his undies. Maybe I'm just not monitoring him enough? But I still feel like he is having relapses in many areas whenever he comes home from his grandmothers' house.

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Asked by TristensMama06 at 6:38 PM on Dec. 28, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • not punish. Um... he's still learning. So yeah just be more on top of it and praise him for doing it... don't make a big deal when he messes up... at least he went to the bathroom even if it was too late -- that happens. EVEN WHEN THEY ARE OLDER!!!!!
    and have it TOTALLY down -- they will make the occ. mistake b/c they were into something or had a hard time getting their pants off etc.
    Praise for what he got right. And move on.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 6:44 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • dont punish! when my daughter was potty training and she would have the same kind of relapse i did give a smack! and now have remorse... i have learned that there is a muscle that needs to develope and when they have accidents like that its just that the muscle is not done yet! potty training is a nightmare! but patients will payoff!

    Answer by rahrahsmama at 6:46 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Thank you for your responses, I haven't punished him so far, it's just frustrating as I'm sure you all already know. I will just keep a closer eye on him and make him go more often. Thanks again!

    Answer by TristensMama06 at 6:51 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • no punishments...if he's having relapses after visiting grandma then grandma must not be on doing the potty training right...i would discuss everything that MUST be done with her and make sure she understands that she has to be consistant with training him

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:10 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Do not punish him. He is still learning and needs more time to get it all under control. Give him a break.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:04 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I personally would not punish him. Children this age are still in training and will be for a long time. I feel your frustration and pain. There are some days where I just sense my child did it on purpose or he should have known better. Of course then I have to remind myself to get a grip...he's just three. We have been potty-trained since two and half. Only took three days. But at three and several months - accidents do occur and when they do it is never good timing. It might be two seconds before we are about to leave the house. My frustration level rises at the timing of it, how long it will take, and also just that I hate poop messes. The rational part of me smiles at my child and reassures him it was an accident and I will clean him and it up. Grin and bear it is all I can do.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:01 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • Check out books by John Rosemond. I love them and have four already. His tips and how to's regarding kids of all ages are great. He talks about potty training in his book that deals with ages three and under. One of the things that he did suggest in one of his examples was that if your son has an accident of any kind to make him clean it up himself. Show him how the first few times and then let him fly solo. He will not do a great job, but maybe it will help him feel a sense of responsiblity for what is happening to his body and then maybe be more likely to try harder to not miss. Best of luck and check out John Rosemond's website.

    Answer by Noble_One at 12:44 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

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