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Is 40 too old to begin trying to adopt an older child or sibling group?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:36 PM on Dec. 28, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (14)
  • No, if you can make a difference how old you are shouldn't matter.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 7:37 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I don't think it's a problem, but you may run into age limits depending on the route you try to take. When we first contacted Catholic Charities in one town, my husband was 41 and I was 30. We were told that he was past the age limit. I called back the same place a year later after researching many agencies and not finding any I liked as well. I was going to plead with them to make an exception, and I was told that they had changed their age limit. After we adopted our daughter I told them to please start showing our profile again, but they told us he was past the age limit. We moved to another state, and one place said he was past the age limit but another would work with us.

    I don't know much about foster-adopt, but many women here do. I don't think your age should prevent you from adopting if you feel called to do it and don't get discouraged by the first "no".
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 7:45 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • No!! Good for you, go for it!!!
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 8:11 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I adopted at nearly 50 from foster care. I think the question is primarily one of whether you have a life expectancy that makes it probable that you will live long enough to parent your adoptive children through childhood. With foster children who have often been through multiple placements, the need for permanency is particularly keen. The combination of age and health helps the agency match children with parents who can be expected to meet their need for a forever family. Of course, no one can know what is going to happen, but agencies have to use something to make their decisions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I sure hope not!
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:57 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I don't think so. As long as you have the patience and the energy to be a hands on, full time, loving parent then I think it would be great. Just be sure to go into it with realistic expectations. Remember that these children have a lot of baggage due to past abuse or neglect. It could take them a long time to heal, years even. As long as you don't go into it with rose colored glasses, I say more power to you!
    Littlebit722

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 10:25 PM on Dec. 28, 2009

  • I agree absolutely with Littlebit722, and I don't think you would have trouble adopting through social services. There are tons of kids who need families so I would definitely encourage you to proceed. It can be challenging to say the least (because these children are emotionally wounded), but one of the most rewarding things you will ever do!
    ForeverMom05

    Answer by ForeverMom05 at 12:03 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • You didn't say which state you are in, but some states have agencies or foundations that handle placement of children from infant to older ages (which is why I brought up agencies). In Nebraska, for example, there is the Nebraska Children's Home Society. They have no fees whatsoever, and even the lawyer fee is covered. They place all ages, including older children. GL!
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 2:30 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • No way.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 6:11 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • no ,if your still pretty active, enjoy.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:51 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

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