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What should I do?

My dh's parents had us over for Christmas last night and gave our 3 yr old and our 7 month old gifts but not our 6 yr old. They did the same thing last year. My 6 yr old had tears in her eyes but didnt make a big fuss. I wish I had not taken them there.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on Dec. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • why did they fail to act like decent humans?

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:03 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Have you asked them why? First you need to find out what their reason is. Not that there reason matters, but there is always the weird possibility that they forgot for some reason (not that I think they did that, but at least give them a chance). Then I would just tell them that none of the kids will be allowed to receive presents unless they have something for each child. It's all or nobody.

    Answer by micheledo at 10:07 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • what the hell? why would they do that? im sorry you have such (tries to think of a name that isnt horrible, nope cant do it) heartless in laws. if i was your six year old i would cry too, i dont get it why buy for the other two but not the six year old. have you asked them why?

    sorry you are gping through this, i feel for your six year old!


    Answer by MamaSusieQ045 at 10:08 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • i agree I would try to be calm and just ask them about it. Tell them that you appreciate the gifts they got but it was hurtful to the 6yr old to be left out and that if they dont want to gift all them then please dont give anything cause it causes really hurt feelings. Very wierd that they would do this...was it Christmas gifts?

    Answer by ria7 at 10:09 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Both times they said they couldnt find anything and would get her later. Which hasnt happened!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • OMG that is HORRIBLE- either they all get stuff or no one does. I don't even know what to say hun :(
    Maybe hubby needs to say something to them that this broke her heart and yours- and let them know it is all the kids or none of them but they cannot pick and choose. As for what to tell your daughter- I have no idea

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:10 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • My ? was more of a does the 6 yr old have a different father or is there a ? of paternity (still doesn't excuse their horrendus behavior, how DARE you treat a child like that on Christmas of all days). They may feel like she's not their grandkid so why should they. I would sit them down/call them & go the f*&^ off!!!! Screaming, yelling the whole 9. WTF!!!! Tell them they are unfit grandparents & humans & until they can apologize to your 6 yr old & make up 2 yrs of no presents then there will be no family communication or visits. Don't let them scar her for life, that's one of the most traumatic things a 6 yr old could go thru on Xmas. Now is a good time to start teaching your dd about the shitty ppl in life, some ppl are just worthless & sometimes even related to you. I'd be soooooo furious!!! If you can let her go to the store & pick out her own xmas present to make up for these two ass munches.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:18 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • No there is no question as to if they are her grandparents they just act like they couldnt find anything for her. I told my dh clothes or money would have been better than nothing. Last year he acted like no big deal they will get her something later. I think this year he is starting to wonder wth is wrong with his parents too. I dont think the kids and I will go next year. I wish we had stayed home this year.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • I am so sorry. That is just plain mean. I can't even imagine doing such a thing. How hard is it to find a gift for a 6 year old?

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:15 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • I think you did the right thing talking to your dh, and it sounds like he now agrees with you. My inlaws didn't bring a gift for our baby this year, but she is a baby, and they truly didn't know what to get (and have since mailed one). Not getting her a gift two years in a row is heartless when they hand out gifts to the other kids. The only way this is acceptable is if they give the gifts while telling the six year old "now, let's you and me go to the toy store so you can show us what you like" and following through that day or the next. That's just cruel.

    Don't go next year, or have your husband have an explicit conversation with them. I'd also take an extra gift just in case, just to save your daughter's feelings temporarily. Or, let everyone go but the six year old, and YOU take her somewhere special. When inlaws ask why, say her feelings are hurt over not getting a present like a member of the family.

    Answer by apexmommy at 12:26 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

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