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What is your best tip(s) for making your relationship work?

So many questions on here with women in bad relationships - abuse, jealousy, cheating, lack of trust, on and on, either or both partners. I've had plenty myself, but I've learned a few things over the years and thought maybe we could all share some fundamentals here... communication, trust, handling arguments.

1. It's okay to go to sleep without resolving an argument. You need sleep. In fact, things look alot different after everyone cools down and steps away emotionally. It's like taking a walk, counting to ten - it's a needed break.
2. Lots of things get said in the heat of the moment BUT it doesn't mean they should be ignored after apologies made. Things are said for a reason... What's behind the name calling and nastiness? That stuff needs to be addressed, not ignored, because it does have to do with real feelings.
3. Make up sex is not as good as sex that comes from a consistently loving relationship.

Answer Question
 
figaro8895

Asked by figaro8895 at 10:29 AM on Dec. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Level 26 (27,251 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I like your 1 and 2. I just could never understand make up sex. Often I wake up after being so mad and think it was no big deal and we don't even discuss it, because it doesn't matter.

    My tips are: Don't keep score, Don't use sex as a tool to get what you want, and Pick your battles.
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 10:32 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Personally I think its simple

    1. Listen to each other, and I mean really listen.
    2. Never stop trying to "impress" each other. Make an effort to be nice, respectful, give the benefit of the doubt, etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • We talk to each other about anything and everything. If you can't communicate then there how can there be trust? We bring things up to each other BEFORE they become problems. Also we have a rule, if something can't be discussed like reasonable rational adults then it doesn't need to be discussed right then. Seriously, fighting is not necessary. We have been together for 10 years now and have not ever had a fight. Never even really been mad at each other. Does that mean we agree on everything? Absolutely NOT, what it means is that we respect each other enough to be considerate of each other and to act like the adults we are. We discuss rather than yell, respect rather than belittle. We are truly more in love each year than we were the year before. (=
    Krysden

    Answer by Krysden at 10:41 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Always be honest
    Be able to laugh at yourself
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:49 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Communicate communicate communicate
    You are not each others enemy
    Divorce is not an option (there are exceptions, such as abuse, or if you spouse continues an adulterous relationship)
    sex is not a manipulation tool
    making god the cornerstone of your life and marriage gives you purpose to have a healthy, successful marriage
    missbreezy214

    Answer by missbreezy214 at 11:16 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • The best thing we ever did was discuss our plans for the future before we created our future! We've been together just short of 10 years and are always on the same page because of it! We spoke about every thing; children, how many when and so on, how to raise them, punishment, who makes the decisions and so on. Style of living, work, school, etc. That way we both knew what to expect going into it and if we had a deal breaker we decided to end the relationship before we brought any major commitment or children in to the mix. We get into "spats" as we call them just as every other couple does, but it's not aout our family. DH has outspoken "opinion" issue's some times. I think there's a time and place for your opinion to be brought up; he thinks there's no better place then right then and there. So, I walk away and he says his piece. But, my families off limits. lol
    luvbnmomnwife

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 12:00 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Always take care of yourself and take care of the relationship by talking do not let things sit. Do not be embarrassed to say what you need and what you want from the relationship and have your own goals as well even if it is something simple for yourself.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:28 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

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