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Final plea for help,

My kids are driving me nuts, now that daddy works nights, they go nuts. How do I get them back on track? Daddy is really strict and I am more lient???? Where do I begin??? ages 6/7/11/13.....
I work days, come home cook, dad eats and off to work he goes....
I feel so lost. I need some support. Help me....
Ex.
walk around and eat. (they suppose to eat at the table)
Play fighting all the time. (even when I insist they do something)
yelling, omg yelling. :((((

I am not lazy, I just can't seem to get them back on track, one works off the other.... So it is difficult.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Dec. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • They are just being kids with lots of energy who are home on school break. They will get back on track when school is back in session. They may be reacting to your stressed energy. Just try to stay calm. If you want them to eat at the table keep reminding them to sit and eat. How many times do you tell them? Until they get it right. Yelling? Tell them to stop or they have to go to their room away from others who don't want to hear the yelling. The point is to remain calm and in control. You may have to give a little though since they are probably bored and stuck in the house if you live in a snow bound area. Find things for them to do to stay busy.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:15 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • stiffen up.. drastically. they are old enough. When you tell them something and they dont do it.. scream at the top of your lungs. Say "what the F*&$ did i just say!" and repeat yourself. Make them sit in their room or a corner. Make them see you mean business. Follow throught with grounding. Show them you have had it and you arent taking any more crap!

    run that house military style until your kids shape up!

    good luck mama!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Manual Labor? JK! Maybe planned activities like game night with the prize being something cool? How about consequences for negative behaviour? Like no T.V.?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • I think you need to sit them down and have a family meeting...but get together a game plan first. Tell them each what their responsibilities are, what is expected of them and what the consequences are. Tell them things are going to change now!! Find a way to track if their chores are done and a reward system. Get a consequence for fighting and not listening and tell them what it is. It could be taking somethng away like tv, it could be a money sytem where they have to pay to a vacation jar from their allowance money. Time to let them know what is expected and what will happen if they dont comply and follow thru!! Be ready to be tested the first few days. Find fun activities for them to do to keep them busy. Set a timer and race t claen their rooms, winner of the cleanest room doesnt have to help with dinner dishes. Play a game after rooms are clean. Try to keep them engaged in fun activities.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 11:43 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • You need to put your foot down hard every time they do not listen. They do not respect you at all!!!!
    And that is not good for them.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:54 AM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • You need to make consequences for their behavior & enforce them, but if you haven't done this yourself in the past, it'll take awhile for them to start taking you seriously. You need to be consistent & follow through each time. Make sure your consequences are logical for the behavior. If they can't sit down & eat, they don't get to eat. Put their food in the fridge. When the decide they can sit down, let them have it, but they eat it cold. If they are play fighting they have to go to separate rooms, if they don't listen to you, they need to lose privileges that are important to them.....tv, video games, computer privileges. whatever is most important to them.

    Also, make them earn some of those privileges with good behavior. When my boys were young they had a time limit for video games, television, and computer use. I bought a roll of carnival tickets for a couple of bucks at Wal-Mart, and they could earn extra time. Good Luc
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:12 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • If you take the food away when they are walking around eating it, they will learn to sit and eat it. I have to do this with my preschooler. It works with her - I assume it will work with older kids. I don't have advice on the rest!
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 12:20 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Do what super nanny does - watch her shows on abc.com. It'll give you strength when others aren't available I used naughty corners even in stores when my three would misbehave. Plus I've left stores even supermarkets behind with my cart filled with food. Just ask the customer service desk to put your cart, if it has cold or frozen foods, into their back cold warehouse.

    Sometimes I've left the store and not returned that day. Other times I've left and given them timeouts in the car as punishment adding no special desserts or cereal that day. I did that like three times and my crew learned their lessons that good behavior was good not funny not rowdy not bad.

    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 12:38 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • oh and my youngest is a 17 year old. When she shops with me she's still to follow rules of respect to the store and me too as well as other customers. I've left stores too without buying even tampons for her because of bad nasty behavior. As a teen she's shocked that I'd do it but it makes for the next shopping trip with me to be better!!!
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 12:40 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • You have already gotten some great advice so I don't have much to add except ((hugs)) and I feel your pain! My husband works nights too, although I am a stay at home mom so I couldn't imagine working all day then going through what you are. My kids are 9,7,5.
    Right now since the kids are on break I've been very lax, but during school they have no choice but to listen or privileges start getting yanked like there was no tomorrow. Take away computer time from my boys and they straighten up quick!!
    Good luck :)
    bgcmommy

    Answer by bgcmommy at 12:50 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

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