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I was only making small talk and found out....

While dropping my son off at his daycare center Christmas Eve, I was making small talk with his "teacher" and mentioned how busy the stores were and if she had been to them recently and she said, "oh.. I had my husband do that.. we are kinda broke this year and right now we only have enough money to keep our furnace and refrigerator running, my husband lost his job a couple months ago" Now, she was not begging or asking for help, my heart broke for her. She has been SO good with my son and to work with 16 month to 33 month old kids all day, 8-14 of them between her and another person, can't be easy.. so after I dropped him off, I went to the bank and got out $160 and put it in an envelope and left it for her, my question is... how do I ask her how I can help more? I don't have tons of money either, but with little everyday things like shampoo or shaving cream etc.. it adds up,, but I don't want to overstep either..


Asked by maxsmom11807 at 4:09 PM on Dec. 29, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 29 (40,703 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I had a similar situation with my in home DCP... I told her that I was getting ready to go on a cleaning binge and wouldshe or her daughter be interested in any of the perfumes, lotions, bodywashes etc that I "found" and she was! I believe that she accepted the items because she didn't think that I went out and bought them. I filled a basket with not only necessities but "fun" items too like bath and body works stuff - the kind of stuff that you don't but when you are broke!

    Answer by chefronswife at 4:16 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • That was very sweet of you! Maybe leave her a note and ask her to let you know what she's in need of, clothes, toiletries, etc.. You're a very special person, I'm sure anything you do for her it will be appreciated.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 4:12 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • That was a wonderful thing you did. I agree with the PP. Just leave a note and if she needs more help she'll let you know.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 4:18 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • You're my new hero :). My mom gave me a good idea, she helped out a mom who needed help a few years ago by just buying her a Target gift card and mailing it anonymously. That way she couldn't refuse to help.

    I want to be just like you when I grow up.

    Answer by benjamink at 4:23 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • I am sure after her telling me her situation and me already giving her money, she'd know I was buying them... but I love that Idea.. I actually do that for my sister because she is a single broke mom and refuses help, which I why I was wondering also.. I am sure its a pride thing also.. another thing is that When I bring him to school, we really don't Talk all that much so I don't know much about her.. we talk about the kids there, mostly my son who is 2, she's always there if I need to ask her something but she's also running after kids or picking up spilled cereal or wiping noses or changing diaper's that I try not to take up too much of her time with general small talk ... so that makes it a ltitle harder being I don't know how she'd feel about it.. but maybe I will leave her a note, I just don't know how likely someone would ASK for help .. you know?? my sister will NOT and she's gone days without eating before.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:25 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • I think the other responses are good. You could also ask the daycare's director to let you know if she knows of anything if you think she will share that info with you.

    I would have done the same thing you did. I do understand how you feel - I LOVE my twin's daycare teacher, and I actually spent more on a baby shower gift for her than I did for my own sister, and I also always ask her if she needs anything my babies have outgrown before I offer it to anyone else - she does such a great job for so little pay and I know her husband is in school and not working. Sometimes when i buy things for my kids i also buy for hers and tell her the sale was too good to pass up. I think you can't be too good to the people who take care of your children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • She's going to appreciate every single penny. I learned to swallow my pride in times of need. I would first give her the money like it was a holiday bonus. Wait a little while before doing something like asking if she would like to go shopping with you maybe to a place like walmart where there's all sorts of supplies. Of course it depends on how close a relationship you have. Have a Happy New Year!


    Answer by saltycoqui at 4:36 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Talk with her some more. I'm sure she may talk about specific things she may need. You are very sweet and thoughtful. I wonder if she know it was you. I bet you made her day, her week, her whatever!

    Answer by Raine2001 at 4:50 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • That was really nice of you. I bet you felt awesome after you did that as you should. I'm sure something great is coming your way.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 5:01 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Mommies like you are why the phrase "having a heart of gold" was invented! I agree with saltycouqui about inviting her to go shopping with you on another occasion. God bless you, your family and your New Year!!!

    Answer by Robsmommy at 5:30 PM on Dec. 29, 2009