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How can I teach my son to stop being rude at pre-school??

My son is 3 years old, and goes to pre-school full time. Ever since he's moved upstairs to the classroom instead of the nursery, he's been acting out. All the same friends but a different attitude with him. He's been telling kids he's going to "punch" them, smash their face in, and is just plan grumpy when he's at school. I try to talk to him but it's hard to understand what he is saying. He gets the concept of having to be good a good boy at school but than doesn't portray that while he's at school. I need help because i'm at my wits end.... I've tried grounding him to his room, time out, no dvds, but it still ends up coming out a couple of days later. I've tried a system of giving him 3 strikes & getting his toys takin away but he thinks it's a game!! I don't know what else to do & need advice... please help!!

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Asked by kathtren at 5:02 PM on Dec. 29, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • Where is he hearing things like that? Maybe at home or at another home? Maybe he's being bullied? If he's out of control at home and at school then this isn't only a school issue. Contact a family therapist to see if they have some tips that might work with him.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 5:04 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Yeah thanks we're not rude at home.... I don't know where he's picking it up from??

    Answer by kathtren at 5:12 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • I was guessing at home....Possibly from the other kids would be the next guess. If its new it may be the transition of classrooms.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • You can't.

    Supervising the children --including guiding their behaviour-- is the job of the workers there. If they don't have a clue how to handle it in the moment, you certainly can't do it from a distance. Children behave in the environment they find themselves in --if he doesn't do this at home, it's 100% the problem of whoever he's around when he's out of the house.

    Answer by LindaClement at 8:26 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • He needs to be disciplined at school where the behavior and consequences are fresh in his mind. Punishing him at home is too late. He probably doesn't even remember what he did to get him punished at home. It could be that other kids in his class are acting the same way , so he thinks it is ok. Find out what his teachers are doing to curb the behavior. He may have to learn from natural consequences of him being mean to his friends---no one will want to play with him.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:18 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • The teacher's put him in time out when there naughty.... And I know it's not just him, the other kids do act up too, but I get told he's bad almost everyday, if not every other day. But from what the director told me today was that she knows none of the other kids talk like punching someone in the mouth, or smashing there face. It's just weird because at home he acts up but never acts like that!! And I don't believe in physical punishment, but I don't feel like getting down to there level & talking to them works!!

    Answer by kathtren at 9:50 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Everyone including the preschool staff keep talking about using punishment to change your sons behavior. What about using a positive approach? Rewarding and praising the good behavior that you want to see more of and also instead of always saying, "You need to stop saying that or you need to stop doing...." Tell him, (ex.) Johnny you need to use your nice words, or Johnny you need to use your nice hands." This way you are telling him what good behavior you want him to demonstrate. Also, praise throughout the school day whenever the staff sees some good positive behavior from him. If he gives a friend a toy willingly or uses nice words, he needs to be praised for it! Possibly a sticker or a ink stamp on his hand when he does well. Lastly, talk to him about "being good." Does he really know what that means. Have him tell you or show you with actions what behaviors are considered good behaviors.

    Answer by lovetoteach1988 at 7:20 AM on Jan. 1, 2010

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