Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Can a mediator over rule a judge?

My husband and his ex wife had a mediation session today to determine her visitation with their daughter (3), who lives with us. (her boyfriend hit my SD, that's one of the maaaaany reasons she only gets visitation)
When we went to court, the judge said her visitation is to be supervised, then he set up the mediation date so they could work it all out. That seemed like a great idea. But, today, the mediator said the visits don't have to be supervised. And now my SD has to have 6 weeks of psych evaluation. At the end of that evaluation, there will be another mediation session, in which they will further determine the visitation. Until then, my SD's mom can pick her up 2 days a week. What if they boyfriend is there? What about all the other very valid reasons my SD is not safe there? (drugs, neglect, etc...) What's going on? Can the mediator over rule the judge?


Asked by mama_moonsong at 5:28 PM on Dec. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 7 (199 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • No, the mediator can not rule over the judge. Go back to court and file a petition for the mother to have supervised visitation. If the mediator was court appointed, request another mediator or find another one yourself.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 5:31 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • OP still-
    We're not aiming to TAKE her from her mother. But experience had lead us to believe that she needs to have an eye kept on her. I'm just worried about the kiddo. It makes me so sad she has to go through all this. She's so smart and sweet.

    Answer by mama_moonsong at 5:29 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • We did file that petition before court, should I file it again?

    Answer by mama_moonsong at 5:33 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Yes because what the mediator set up is now what the game plan is and what the court will acknowledge. Go back to court and file the petition again to make sure mother only gets supervised visitation until a home study or whatever the judge sees fit to prove that she's in a safe environment. Bring all proof you have, written and witnesses. I can't imagine why a mediator would decide that she's allowed to have unsupervised visits and put your SD through therapy. That seems really odd to me. Is there more to the story than you've shared here?


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 5:36 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • It seemed really odd to me too. Unfathomable, actually. I'm dumb founded. She actually didnt even call about my SD for 7 months last year! And she hasn't paid child support EVER. not in 2 1/2 years. And all that's asked of her is 75 dollars a month.
    We filed soooo many papers. With witnesses (police, included) to what we said. There were pictures too. She doesnt feed her or give her naps, the kiddo comes back tired, sick, upset, reeking like smoke. And she's terrified to go there. She cries and screams about it.

    Answer by mama_moonsong at 5:42 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • We were so confident that things were going well... and now this.
    It's terrifying! I don't know what to do . Or what to tell this poor sweet little girl.

    Answer by mama_moonsong at 5:43 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Here's the kicker- the boyfriend (who lives her) is an EX CON!!!!!!

    WTF!!!!??? I'm so scared about it all. I can barely hold it together, but I know I have to for my SD, not to mention my DD and DH. We have such a happy, fun, easy going life. Why is this happening?
    All i know to do is pray.

    Answer by mama_moonsong at 5:45 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Mediation by true terms is not suppose to be a ruling of any kind. It is simply a court-appointed officer that meets with both parties and tries to get them to come to a resolution so it doesn't have to go to court. Typically, they cannot make decisions, rulings or force either party to do anything. I would definately contact someone at your local courthouse. This does not seem like it is being handled correctly. Either that or hire a lawyer. I know it's costly but it's usually worth it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • a mediator is supposed to just give suggestions to the judge and or work out what the judge has ordered. I would contact the family court and find out what is right. I would also hire an attorney, if you already haven't done so. Protect that little girl.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:07 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • No, it shouldn't. Do you have the judges ruling in paper? if so, call the judges secretary and explain that the ruling of the judge is not being followed by the appointed mediator, explain the circumstances.

    Answer by older at 7:08 PM on Dec. 29, 2009