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Ok so here is what happened at my dd's would you have handled this?

Here are a few things you have to know......#1 I work at the same preschool. I teach music. #2 My dd is 4 and possibly has VERY mild autism. #3 The original teacher she had was wonderful but found a better job...I HAD no other choice but to put her with Mrs. Margie.

A week or so ago the teachers had some free time, so I sat down at a table with Mrs Margie (dd's NEW teacher who is VERY harsh older woman) and another teacher.

Mrs. Margie looks at me and says..."I want you to know that your dd did the VERY first paper she has EVER done in my room today"

(My dd's papers are usually good....half and half...sometimes she is not in the mood and she will scribble....but she has come home with MANY MANY MANY great ones that I put on our fridge)

So I look at Margie and I say "Margie, I know sometimes her papers arent the greatest in class. But I see others that are wonderful.

Will continue:

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:11 PM on Dec. 29, 2009 in

Answers (19)
  • The whole time I am saying this she is shaking her head NO....

    So I get pissed off.....she is WRONG...and she is not giving my dd the credit she rightfully deserves just like all the other students. So I slammed the chair under the table and walk out as she is trying to back pedal her comment.....about 15 minutes later she finds me and tries to defend herself...but I shut her down...told her she was flat WRONG.

    My dd has such a hard time and deserves every bit of praise that she earns....

    This IS NOT THE ONLY ISSUE I have had with her.....the very first week of school My dd came home with a WONDERFULLY colored paper....I bragged on it to Mrs. MArgie and she told me "oh she must have gotten it outta someone elses cubby....." AS IF SHE WERE INCAPABLE OF COLORING THAT WELL!!!!

    We havent spoken since that day...

    How ticked would you would you have reacted? I came very close to quitting that day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Maybe you should quit and take your dd out of that preschool. Have you had your dd tested for autism? It might be beneficial for you to have her tested so that she can get the help that she needs instead of being in a classroom where this teacher obviously is not working with your dd.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:17 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • OP HERE:

    She is in a special preschool as well. Her special ed teachers support her being in a "normal" classroom b/c she is so mild. It helps her to be pushed fairly hard....around lots of kids for as much as possible ;)

    We have talked about having her tested...but right now she is having all the services she can get its just not the right time. Maybe soon though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • i worked n daycare when my son was younger and ran in to a situation with a teacher and it escilated badly
    i think that you need to talk to the director. if it was a child whose parent did not work at the center she would in no way get away with talking to a parent like that or treating a child like that and it should be no diff. she needs to either learn how to handle children and talk to parents or find a new job, and i woul db eo n the bosses ass about my child getting treated fairly and nicley.

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:20 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • As a teacher and a mother I say that you need to speak with the director of the preschool. She sounds like she doesn't have an understanding of the children in her age group and what their needs are. She is also highly unprofessional in the manner she is speaking about a student the way she is speaking about your daughter. She needs to be talked to at the very least her behavior is not ok as a teacher or a co-worker. Good luck.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 8:23 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • you may not like this, but here goes.

    my dd has had a couple of teachers that i really hated (she is in 3rd grade now- so this would be her 5th year, and her 9th teacher, we've moved a lot- different issue), either lazy or just plain mean.... but as her mom it is my job to smooth things over so it is not taken out on her in class. even if you do not like the woman, and feel she treats your dd unfairly, you still have to be a responsible adult and behave like one. even when you're angry. if you do not, you are doing her a disservice.
    its hard as mom, not to get involved on a personal level with a teacher- but sometimes we have to bite the bullet, and do what is best. if you feel she is truly causing your dd a problem, it should be addressed with admin, not the teacher. and it should be specific to the problem, not to your interaction with her.

    i know you're mad, but open up your perspective to the bigger picture. :)

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 8:23 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • I understand that this is a very sensitive issue. I think that as an advocate for your child, you need to keep it cool. Nothing is won by you quitting, by you getting into an argument with Mrs. Margie over a craft at school. Maybe Mrs. Margie doesn't know how much of an accomplishment it is for a child in the spectrum to be able to color or simply interact with other children. My suggestion is to stop been stubborn or having your feelings hurt, that doesn't do your child any favors.

    Try to develop a plan with Mrs. Margie to ensure that she provides a nurturing environment for your child and that she promotes good self esteem and positive feedback to your child. As a mom of a child in the spectrum all I can say is advocate for your child and become the mom your child needs, what ever that may be. You can't afford to feel, you must think what is best for your child, period.

    Answer by bebita at 8:27 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Well, having her in a special preschool with special services when she hasn't been dx with autism may be doing more harm than good. That's what I'm getting at. You don't even know that it is autism. At any rate, you are obviously very upset and angry with this teacher, do you really think that is helping your dd any? Before you put her in a special school or tell anyone that she may have a mild form of autism, you should have her evaluated. Kids are pretty smart and when you place a label on them that label sticks with them forever. Your dd may not have autism she might just be a different learner. Look at this website, it's filled with wonderful information on transformation education (transzed) learning.

    The Upside Down Organization


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:29 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • You need to grow up. Seriously.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Maybe she did take the coloring from another child's desk? Is it really that improbable? She may have been right, but she also could have used more tact.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

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