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Children and violence?

I'm a little torn on this issue. I'm a pretty open mom and there isn't much that I hide or plan to hide form my DD. Typically taboo subjects aren't an issue for me, but I'm not sure how I feel about violence. It makes me very uncomfortable cause violence is so negative and... well it's violent. As much as I don't like it, it's a big part of our world. DH watches lots of history and war stuff and DD sees until I take her away. I know she somewhat understands (she's 2) cause she asks if the people are ok after they fall down or something. I'm afraid that she might mock or be frightened by it. At the same time, I think it's something she'll need to understand at some point or another (the concept of violence, not how to fight). War and such are a big part of history but war movies hit me much harder emotionally than scary movies and I just don't want it to scar her. She knows what prowrestling is IDK how I feel about anything....

 
jus1jess

Asked by jus1jess at 10:58 PM on Dec. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,801 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • (Continue) Guide your child with what you believe about violence. They'll eventually come to their own conclusions about it when they're older, but right now you can help them by sharing your thoughts. This will help them to form their own opinions in the future. Be honest with them. That is the best thing you can do with a child. Don't sugar coat things, don't shield them from reality, be honest with them. A child will learn this all eventually, so you might as well let it come straight from your mouth first. I believe that a child should hear it first from their parents, so that the parent can be there to answer the questions. When they hear it from peers it is driven by ignorance, naive behaviour, and often times things they misinterpret. Just show her what you know of violence, what you believe is okay and not okay. When you're honest with your child, they'll find trust in you to come for you for the answers.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:36 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • cont... beyond that? Is violence ever ok? Are certain kinds but not others? Is there a time or way to introduce it safely?
    jus1jess

    Answer by jus1jess at 11:01 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Depends on your lifestyle. Personally, I don't think children should be watching things that are meant for adults to watch that includes stuff on the history channel, scary movies, adult movies etc. There is a reason why things have age ratings on them ( toys, shows, movies). I just don't understand why people feel the need to "expose" their children to adult themes saying oh well they will learn it eventually. Things should be age appropriate. General tv is not appropriate for most children under the age 12.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 11:02 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Well I certainly don't want her watching scary movies or violence as entertainment and I hate the "Well they're gonna see it anyway" excuse. I'm wondering more about educational and historical violence.
    jus1jess

    Answer by jus1jess at 11:09 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • We do not let our kids watch violent or scary shows. My theory is that while kids may not fully understand what they see, they are get used to it. When they are older and able to understand it, I wonder if they have not become desensitisized by the repeated viewing of it. While the may understand it they are not as likely to be horrified or frightened by it. (I hope that makes sense). I don't want stuff that is violent, frightening, or sexual to be a regular part of my childs viewing.
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 11:14 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • As far as what is appropriate - I think stories would be better. Books that deal with wars - tv and movies are very realistic, while books leave a lot to the imagination and your child will only imagine what they are capable of understanding. As they get older - I think there are different kinds of violence and some I am more comfortable with. Violence for sheer pleasure and fun is not something I want my child to be comfortable with. Violence with a purpose is different - defending your family, historical wars, etc. Is different (imo). Hope that all makes sense.
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 11:14 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Why now? Why expose children to the nasty side of life right off the bat? I'm shielding mine for as long as I can so they can be a child for as long as possible. The world is harsh enough and I feel there's no need to introduce them to all the hell any time soon. Not to mention it'll scare them to death and not empower them at this age.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • Jus1jess- Age appropriate. At 2 yrs old, your child can not mentally handle any kind of violence period. Even in many school books they do censor a lot of the violence. The media and the tv networks do not care about our children. It's up to us as parents to make sure that we protect our children from what they could be exposed to. Honestly, some things on the history channel are pretty bad. It has to be selective, you don't have to be black or white. As your child ages, you will know your child's maturity level and if they can comprehend the learning aspect of some violent history. We have a house rule that if the tv is on, it's tuned to something age appropriate for the kids. We don't watch our shows until the kids are in bed.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 11:16 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • I believe that violence is only okay when you're defending yourself from someone who was violent towards you first. I agree with "Never start a fight, always end it." And sometimes giving someone a good sock to the head when they're not backing down ends the fight. That's only if they're aggressive to you first though.

    When it comes to what my children watch on TV, I believe in teaching them what is and isn't real. Tell them that movies are made up for entertainment and aren't meant to be reinacted. Same with history. That those shows are meant to teach us how things were handled in the past, so that we can learn from that and choose better methods to handle situations. Sometimes fighting for yourself is a proper method, but it isn't the first reaction we should come to.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:30 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

  • I'm a huge horror movie fan....my daughter grew up with life sized Chucky dolls and various slasher flick icon action figures, posters, games, etc in my room. She watches the history channel with her grandpa and will tell you that Freddy is just a guy with make up and Chucky is just a remote control toy....

    It's all on how they are brought up. If they understand from the get go that movies are fake and history is for teaching and leading us in a different path, then usually they will have no negative effects.
    randi1978

    Answer by randi1978 at 11:47 PM on Dec. 29, 2009

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