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anyone know how to raise a good well mannered kid?

im a first time mom and need tips ... hes 2 months old almost 3 .. but hes kinda spoiled from me cause i will hold him sometimes .. ok.. maybe a lot of the time :( but hate to hear him cry ... i really want him to be good mannered in resteraunts , and around people .. i dont want him to yell at me if i dont do something for him..i want him to eat his veggies.. and u know all that other good stuff.... anyone have good tips or ways of parenting .. i really want to be a good mom .. what if i screw this up by spoiling him.. u know??

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Luckyme3487

Asked by Luckyme3487 at 12:13 AM on Dec. 30, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 14 (1,572 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • The best way is through example. If you have good manners, he will mirror you. As far as screwing up, show me one parent that hasn't.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:22 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • You have to take kids to restaurants so they learn. Sometimes you have to get the meal wrapped up to go when the child starts being a pain. It sends a message. I think we only did that twice and started when they were infants. Now we can take them to five star dining but I prefer to just do it with dh as it's expensive. We do take them though for special occasions. Get on the discipline asap so they know you mean business and never cave. Be as consistent as humanly possible. Grind up steamed veggies and start young so they'll learn to eat them. Do this with all foods. It'll take several times. My two y/o could throw a major tantrum and even when it was embarrassing for me, I'd pick his butt up and remove him from wherever were, however inconvenient. If I need to correct him at age 7 in public, I do so quietly but immediately. My kids are great. Make mistakes but are good kids.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:31 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • You can't "spoil" a 2 month old by holding him too much! They need that closeness and comfort at this point. Be thankful you have a your baby there to hold and feel nurtured!! A lot of mommies don't get that chance :(

    But as far as tips on raising a well mannered child...it all depends on the childs personality on how you would raise them! Some kids aren't that difficult and some kids take more work. My boy is in the takes more work category :) Only thing I can recommend is be consistent and dont' make empty threats, follow through with what you say so they know you mean business or they will walk all over you.

    Enjoy your baby while he's a baby, it doesn't last long.....
    all4mymarine

    Answer by all4mymarine at 12:31 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • You're doing perfect. Answering your infants cries speedily and creating a strong attachment will result in a more-or-less well behaved child. You will find that some tantrums and outbursts are unavoidable... they are kids after all, but the attachment you are creating now will foster trust later on.

    Kids who act out repeatedly do so because they aren't having their needs met. Emotional needs are just as important as physical needs to children. Acting out can be due to a lack of either (not enough sleep, not enough attention, etc...).

    So... spoil away! You really can't "spoil" an infant, you're simply meeting his needs. When he gets older, continue meeting his needs, but draw a strict line between needs and wants. Spoiling comes into play when you confuse them. It's all trial and error... so don't be afraid of screwing up, but always be willing to adjust your methods.

    As for the veggies... good luck!
    LeanneC

    Answer by LeanneC at 12:35 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Sounds like you're doing great so far! Here are my tips-

    1. When he starts eating solids, introduce veggies first. IDK if it's really true, but people say that if you introduce fruits first, they get used to the sweetness and don't want to eat the veggies. I fed both my kids veggies first, and haven't had a problem. (They both love fruits/veggies.)
    2. Don't give him everything he wants when he wants it. If you're doing the dishes, or something else, and he asks for a juice, have him hold on for a minute until you can dry your hands off, or finish the few extra dishes in the sink, etc. That will teach him patience. Even though I've done this, my children still sometimes get impatient. (They're not perfect-I'm sure they just forget because they are children after all.)
    3. Teach him how to care for his toys by putting them away after he's done playing with them. This is where I messed up. I used to do it FOR my kids, and now
    SAMNMAYASMOM

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 1:38 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • they don't want to. Which is a pain in the a$$!!!

    3. Show him how to save money and not blow it all. :) I haven't started with this yet b/c I was not taught, and made some bad choices, so now I have to stick with them. As soon as I'm out of debt, I will show my children how to save, etc. :)

    Good luck!
    SAMNMAYASMOM

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 1:40 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Oh, and don't make him finish the food on his plate. If he's not hungry, then he's not hungry. I always just save it for the girls, and they can eat it later. (Or tell him how much of it he has to eat. Don't let him get used to telling you what to do. For example, don't let him tell you what to make for dinner. You can ask him, or if he asks for something, then sure, but if it's out of the question, don't run yourself ragged trying to please him. That's where the selfishness comes in. When you say something, make it stick. (Another thing I have failed in. LOL...) I have very good girls. Sometimes they forget things, or fight me on it, but in the end, mom usually wins. If it's not that important, then let them choose whatever it is. I know this is all random, but yeah. LOL... Hope it helps!
    SAMNMAYASMOM

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 1:44 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • First of all, you can NOT spoil an infant! They need to be held - as much as possible. This will NOT screw them up!! Some people refer to the first 3 months of life as the "4th Trimester." This is a transition period for the baby. For 9 months they were all snuggly & warm inside your womb. Now they're in this cold, bright world. They need time to adjust. Holding, swaddling, nursing, baby wearing...these are all important things during this period. Doing these things is part of raising a well adjusted child. There are studies that show (sorry, bebe sleeping in my lap...can't get up to get you the exact info at the moment) that CIO & leaving baby lay alone for long periods, can actually negatively affect brain development. ... to be continued ...
    charity987

    Answer by charity987 at 7:50 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • ... part 2 ...
    With that said, the best way to teach your child manners is to lead by example! Children mimic what they see first. So, if they see bad manners, then they'll mimic & learn bad manners. But if they see good manners, they will mimic those. When they begin to 'copy' good manners, it's your chance as a parent to reinforce those good manners, by praising them for them. My 2 year old copies me by saying, "excuse me" when he burps and saying, "bless you" when someone sneezes(or coughs for that matter). I always thank him for having such good manners & make a big deal out of it. He gets a sense of pride that he's done a good job :)
    charity987

    Answer by charity987 at 7:53 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Be an example. Kids learn what they live. I mean they would do what they see you doing. Of course something you have to seat with them and teach manners, like how is he supossed to act in a restaurant and the better way is playing like you're having a dinner in a restaurant. About holding a child, please at 3 months baby needs to feel mami's love. About veggies if you eat them he will do it. I have a 13 and 10 years old, I spoiled them, breatfeeding them, praised them. I still hugging them everyday and they are respectul and really good boys, never had a real problem. Some people look at them weird sometimes because they use to say thanks, hold doors, help people, etc. But the teachers, family and neighbors love them. They are not perfects but I know they'll be good persons and after all that is what matters. Google children learn what they live poem, you'll like it. Best Wishes!
    Ilovesunflowers

    Answer by Ilovesunflowers at 8:52 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

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