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I agreed to let him go. Did I do the right thing?

I agreed to my husband going to his friends house just a mintue ago. He left already and its 2 in the morning. His friend Jerry is sick with heart failure and he called my husband to come over and meet some of his friends that he had over. He said he didn't want to go, that he wanted to spend time with me. But he also said the MAIN reason why he said no, is because he didn't want me to be upset about it. True in the past I have and I would get mad at him for wanting, but know I just feel numb about it. It made him really happy though. Is it normal for me to feel this way?

 
soonmommyof3

Asked by soonmommyof3 at 3:10 AM on Dec. 30, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 11 (634 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • That is what marraige is supposed to be. Knowing that there are times that you have to put the other person's wants and needs ahead of your own and expecting to get the same in return.
    Even if it does evoke a feeling some may think is wrong, you still did a good thing and deserve credit for that.
    I think the reason you're numb is because he used to go to the guys house and stay late BEFORE he got sick so instinctively you want to be upset, because it's how you used to feel about it. Instead this time,he has reason to see him. He is sick so you can't feel upset, it is justified. Therefore you feel nothing just numb. Kinda like one cancels out the other.
    Not to mention the fact that you empathise with the guy since you are sick as well. So it's hard to be mad when you understand his need for time with those he cares about before he goes.
    eyedoleyes

    Answer by eyedoleyes at 4:53 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • So his friend is sick with a heart problem and your jealous he is out with him at his house? if they are not partying, drinking and woman over the house it should be a calm night for them. Why does it matter?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • did you not read my questions correctly. I did not say I was jealous, I said I was numb about it. which means I feel nothing! I for one don't know who is over there or if they are partying. Husband just said they he heard people having a good time, which I don't give flying turd about. I just wanted to know if him going over there at 2 in the morning is okay and if me feeling indifferent about it is normal when in the past, when his friend was NOT SICK i DID. only because he would always be doing or wanting to do something else. not spend time with his family. now he does so its no big deal. I am just feeling some new things right now and I am not sure if its normal or not.


    So his friend is sick with a heart problem and your jealous he is out with him at his house? if they are not partying, drinking and woman over the house it should be a calm night for them. Why does it matter?

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:37 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • What couple has quality time at 2 in the morning? lol...I'm not quite sure what is going on in your question but it's one night right? I do agree that it's kind of an odd time of night but maybe buddy is trying to pack as much as he can into the days (and nights) he has left.

    Try not to take this the wrong way but I think you might be making a mountain out of a molehill here. Unless there is something I missed or you didn't include in your question I don't see what the problem is. Of course, it IS 0330 and I'm pretty much brain dead.
    sgtdemanda

    Answer by sgtdemanda at 3:38 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • I fail to see how I am making a mountain out of a molehill. When he has no idea how I feel about it. I just told him it was okay to go, because I did not want him staying because he'd think I would get mad about it. Who wants someone to stay because of that? I want him to stay because he wants to, not because he thinks I would get mad. That's why I told him I didn't mind. That's why I feel numb about it. IT made him so happy. I can't spoil that. and I wouldn't.


    Try not to take this the wrong way but I think you might be making a mountain out of a molehill here. Unless there is something I missed or you didn't include in your question I don't see what the problem is. Of course, it IS 0330 and I'm pretty much brain dead.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:43 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • by the way I am sick with kidney failure, so I beg the differ here. Why does it matter that he is sick. just as it wouldn't matter by me being sick either. I just added that in their so you could see what kind of person I am. Which is CARING.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:45 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • How did you expect sgtde to know you're sick? She said right in her answer that she didn't want you to take offense. Which means she wasn't trying to insult you. And I agree, it's one night and he obviously wanted to go to his friend's. Personally I don't "let" my husband do anything. He's an adult and capable of doing things without my permission.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • really you have kidney failure and your pregnant? Anyways.....maybe you should have explained that your sick and dying to in oyour origianal post and people may not attack your.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • I must be missing something here. You told him to go, that you didn't care. Now you realize that you don't care one way or the other--that you told him the truth, in other words. What is the problem here? I am really sorry for your SO. He is worried about you and your health, and now his best friend is dying, too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • the only thing that would bother me about it would be the 2 am...why have a get together with "the boys" at 2 am
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:03 AM on Dec. 30, 2009