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Would you leave while pregnant, if...?...

I'm emotional, get loud & cry when I'm hurt, but I don't insult,call names or cuss. Idk not excusing that I get loud, just saying I do get emotional. He get angry, throws things, had destroyed 3 of our laptops by jerking one off my lap throwing it against the wall, kicking anothe & slamming his fist into the 3rd. He also destroyed my 40" flatscreen by kicking it & he really get off on name calling. At that point I just leave usually. Well I've delt with that behavior the 3 first months of being pregnant. The fight after my first ultrasound was started by me crying that (he wasn't employed at the time) I was scared we wouldn't provide, then the next thing you know he's yelling at me saying "so I'm just a pos that's how you see me" (everything with him is extreme) I got mad at being misunderstood AGAIN & said "forget it" ran upstairs, he to hurt me , follows with a candle & burns the first pair of baby booties I bought our...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:16 AM on Dec. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I'd be gone....you are entitled to a little bit of emotion but hes behaving like an over dramatic and emotional abusive child.
    CuteandCurvy

    Answer by CuteandCurvy at 4:21 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • ..our baby. I did at that point knock the candle out of his hand, by doing that he then claimed I was "assulting" him trying to hurt him because the candle could've hit his foot. Fights have gone from things being destroyed at the mention of me leaving that "I hope the baby gets a stepfather who beats him so you'll see how good I was" comments. This last time, we were sitting in bed, I am (perhaps to) needy & complained that he played Ps3 for four hrs, yet he fell asleep 5 min into the movie we rented together. He then grabbed his drink ( alcohol)throws it on me, I wanted to slap him, but am 5 1/2 months I can't be doing that. I left. I am seriously considering leaving but now that he's gotten a job (starts Jan) he says he'll go to counseling & stop drinking. To be fair, he's not a monster & at this point hasn't put his hands on me. I don't know if I should wait or it theres no hope...? Advice?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Hun honestly I would be out of there and I would tell him WHEN You can prove yourself to be an adult then I'll come back...Words are just words, he needs to prove himself and you need to get yourself in a safe situation for you AND your baby..
    CuteandCurvy

    Answer by CuteandCurvy at 4:30 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • O.k. here I go, Not bad,just going to tell you my story,"breifly", other wise we'de be here far to long,lol.People have differences.Men & women are different.Some are religeous, some are not.When we are pregnant yes we are more emotional, but what if thats one way god is telling us it's time to clean house.If this man is ready to be a daddy nothing in the world will stop him from doing the right thing.I'm glad he has a job, has he had allot of them? Is he close to his family? How did he behave in privious relationships?Does he have other kids? Did he change for them? All I'm saying is do what's best for you & the baby.Don't ever question walking away from any kind of abusive behavior.If he said he will go to conciling," GOOD" make him ,I'd say thats the biggest part of the problem from what you've shared.He is under stress, and he will feed you whatever it is HE thinks you need to here.Make him see everything threw.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • I agree with cuteandcurvy. GET OUT NOW! If he's already like this, chances are, he is going to get violent TOWARDS you. and the comment about hoping your child ends up with an abusive stpfather that beats him! I would never forgive that. I would have left over that alone! What he is doing is already abusive. He is verbally and emotionally abusive and the drink thing in the eyes of the law is assault. This behavior will eventually run you down to where you have no strength or self esteem to leave. GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THE COURAGE AND ESTEEM TO DO SO!
    eyedoleyes

    Answer by eyedoleyes at 5:48 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Wow! This is the kind of behavior that escalates. It is scary. It sounds like he has done a good job of convincing you it is all your fault and your problem. Leaving is probably a good idea, but I realize how hard and not practical that is sometimes. You need to go to alanon. It will do you a world of good, and it is free. You can also go to your local Domestic Violence and have a multitude of resources available to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:16 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Get out having his child or not GET OUT NOW. I have been right where your at and it will not EVER get better and don't end up like me. I was held in my apartment for 2 days and when I was finally able to get out I had a broken jaw, 8 broken ribs 2 blk eyes, broken arm he beat so bad that i was luck to get out of there and he also had a knife to my neck for the last 21 hours. GET OUT DO IT TODAY.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • I'm NOT excusing his behavor but, my dh acted like that when I was pregnant with our first baby. Once he was able to get a steady job it stopped, and he is the best father you could imagine. our natural roles as mother and father make mothers want to be nurturers and fathers providers. Maybe he is depressed to because he feels like he can't provide for you and your new baby. Plus, he is probably frustrated that you are upset all the time. Wait until you are both in a calm mood and try to talk to him. If he starts acting crazy instead of talking, then leave. But try to talk it out first. Good luck to you. If you need to talk you can message me.
    Jjoneslagrange

    Answer by Jjoneslagrange at 7:51 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • When he said he hoped his own child got a step parent that beat him/her I'd have been packing my stuff up immediately. Even in anger that's just wrong to say.
    Me personally, I am pretty sure I'd have to leave. The destruction in that house sounds very emotional and scarey to me. Imagine what it would be like for a little baby, or small child.
    I'm not saying I'd never come back, but I think I'd have to leave till he actually does go get some help and proves to me that he can talk to me like an adult instead of throwing an expensive fit like a child.
    I'm actually afraid for you and your babies safety. What if he throws something and it bounces off the wall and htis you or the child? What if you're so stressed out you develop health problems? So many more what if's I could mention.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:16 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • leave leave leave
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 8:26 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

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