Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Soon to be ex-husband

My soon to be ex husband is having an extremly hard time with the fact that I moved out and he says he can't picture us not being together, that I'm the only thing he wants and loves me so much. He would do anything. We have a child together so it's not like I can never talk to him again, but he is really starting to get on my nerves I feel like he will never move on and he says he will always be waiting. He is driving me crazy always texting me saying like "im about to break", "I dont know what to do anymore", " i just wish a truck would run me over"...ect. He says he has nothing to live for anymore that the only thing keeping him going is our son.
I told him to stop, I feel like he is going to make me resent him if he keeps on. Please just give me some advice on how to handle this, with out being so mean to him.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Dec. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • You can't not be mean if you want him to stop, in fact, I'd go a step meaner than you are, sounds like he isn't getting the message.
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 10:18 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Therapy.... That is the only way...

    It is hard to break up, but if you have no other way to rectify your relationship then he should go to therapy, the first few times go with him, and then he is on his own. Unless they ask you to come back, you sons father is worth that.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:20 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • I told him if he would go see a therapist that I would to, seperatly. I feel it would benifit us both. I really do hate to see him hurting like this. All he keeps saying is he has no one else and I'm still his best friend, I told him to move on I have. He says he can't. I even told him I had been with another man, just to make it clear to him that it's over. He told me about some chick that he had been talking to but isnt any more. I asked him why not? That I want him to find someone he can be happy with and will be good to our son when he has him. I think that all took him by suprise.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • then it sounds like its time to work things out. well seriously why dont u try to make it work? you took those vows for a reason rite?
    Armywifelovely

    Answer by Armywifelovely at 10:50 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • He's trying to manipulate you. Just ignore him. I'd even block him for a while and if you need to talk about the child then you can send him something.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:51 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • We dated for 3 years and have been married for 5, he cheated twice. We went to marragie cons. and I tried my best. We worked through the first time he cheated and most people cant build that trust and love back up again but I did. Then the second time I just can't do it again. Call me crazy but in my heart of hearts I don't feel like he wouldn't do it again, but the love that I once felt is not there anymore. I love him and always will but I'm not in love with him anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • If you really want to break the ties with him why are you considering therapy? Even suggesting you go seperately is just adding fuel to his desire to win you back, don't you think? You aren't doing him any favors by keeping his hope alive, you need to douse that flame, for his best interest and your own as well. You said he was driving you crazy...I agree with admckenzie, he is using the suicide card to manipulate you and will continue to do that as long as you allow him to.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • It sounds very much to me like this is a marriage that could be saved, so what is keeping you from working things out with him? All it takes to save a marriage is two people who want to save it, and it your case, you know that he wants that, so what is holding you back? This is the kind of man who can make a wonderful husband, even if he has messed up before. He now recognizes how important you are to him. It's the best opportunity you will ever have at a wonderful relationship, and it's never too late to start over. I think you should try. After all, you chose him to be the father of your child!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:59 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • NannyB..you live in a fairytale world ...he CHEATED on her TWICE...she forgave him , they worked to make things right again AND THEN HE CHEATED ON HER AGAIN.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • anon 12:36 it looks like your the one who is living in a fairy tale world. OP, i think you are making a big mistake. You have a husband who is miserable for you and loves you. He wants to work things out. If you move on , who is to say you wont find another man who will cheat on you? Than what will you do .............leave? find another one? I say fix what you have instead of going from one man to another looking for something that you had from the very beginning.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.