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My child is to attached

I adopted my five year old who was very neglected from hes parents.I had him in and out of my home since he was five months.He doesnt want me out of hes sight i can,t even bath because he thinks i am going to leave him. Any ideas on how to explain to him i.m not going anywhere


Asked by dianna112 at 10:24 AM on Dec. 30, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (6)
  • Learn to spell. It's "his, not "hes"....."bathe" not bath.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • He needs to know that and Eventually he will. Imagine how a child feels-he is very insecure, scared and confused.

    It is going to take time, weeks or months, then start easing him into it. Start it at home:
    Mommies going to take a shower, why don't you get a book and read it. If it starts on the toilet then let it be, and ease him to the hall and so on. Just don't rush him, when he is ready then give him a sticker and remind him, see I told you I would be right out.

    Most of all: Show him you love him, and he is your son for ever. (IF YOU CAN GUARANTEE IT...)


    Answer by KFree907 at 10:31 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • I think you just have accept the fact that you have a constant little companion. He needs you to be there. All you can do is show him you are always there. Eventually he will feel more secure. Right now just keep him by your side. Maybe he can wait by the door when you go to the bathroom?

    Answer by mompam at 10:40 AM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • Anon 12:29 - Somehow you managed to understand her even with her typos. Are you having a bad enough day that you really needed to weigh in on spelling today? I noted that you don't actually answer the question, so "next question" is only a click away.

    OP-It sounds as though he's been in several unstable, uncertain situations. He has no guarantee that he'll stay with you, (in his 5 y/o mind & understanding based on the past) as you yourself state that you have had him "in and out of my home since he was five months". How is he supposed to know it's forever? So it may take a LONG time before he feels secure enough not to have to watch your every move. I do like the suggestion of giving him a book or toy to play with while in the bathroom with you. If you are accepting of his "clinginess" he'll eventually stop. If you try to distance him, he will become more clingy. Good luck to you & bless you for taking care of this child.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 4:20 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • I realize this doesn't address the big picture, but my kids would still get into the bath with me until they were about 7. In their case it wasn't because they were anxious, they just wanted to and I didn't see any reason to stop them. I guess my point is, if your son wont let you bath alone, let him get in the bath with you.

    Answer by onethentwins at 7:19 PM on Dec. 30, 2009

  • OTT - I thought your answer was actually very helpful. Sometimes as adoptive parents we may wonder if something is related to adoption, when it may just be something that all kids do.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 8:02 PM on Dec. 30, 2009